DISCLAIMER- I am not the original poster. This is a repost sub, OP is u/hell_hath_no_fury__
PART 1 -https://www.reddit.com/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/rmphp0/my_husband_is_currently_on_a_vacation_with_his/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
PART 2-
https://www.reddit.com/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/rmpl4n/my_husband_is_currently_on_a_vacation_with_his/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
Gaslighting or Overreaction
Today my STBX dropped off the kids after having them for a few days. He told me yesterday he would be dropping them off at noon. When 1:00 arrived I was a bit worried. All my texts to him were answered with 1 or 2 word answers. That is strange for him to do. I get a text at 1:45 that he is on his way and that the AF is with him. Ummm, what? I was never informed that she would be here with the kids. I have no idea if she has been here the whole time or just flew in today. I was furious. I don't care if it's her or anyone else; I want to know who my children will be around. Period. Full stop.
So they arrive and I let her into my home. While he sorts through the mail she stands awkwardly in my foyer. So then I say, 'I will just tell both of you since you are here, if the kids are going to be around her or anyone else, I want to know. I support your relationship and I'm happy you (AP) are here with them, I just want to know beforehand and not after the fact.'
He looked offended. He smushed his face almost in disbelief. She stood statue still and refused to make eye contact. I understand her position. She was in enemy territory and then I hit her with a bomb. I'm not mad at her, she probably had no idea he didn't tell me. Maybe he lied and said he did, who knows. But she is a mom, I'm sure she gets my point, whether she agrees or not. My issue is with him. I know I'm right, I know it should be a non-discussion, common sense if you will. But no, he left being very cold to me and I started to second guess my decision to say something. Did I let my emotions get the best of me? Or did he gaslight me and make me feel like I'm crazy? Did they think because we had one meet that she had the green light to play stepmom now?
Publicizing Paradise
Newlyweds always look forward to their honeymoon. White sandy beaches, topical drinks with little umbrellas, sex all day and all night...paradise right? Well my STBX and I never took one. We were in the process of buying a house and could not afford to do both. Well, I say we were buying a house but in reality it was me. I put the 20% down and the mortgage/deed is in my name because he was broke and had terrible credit. But, he said he was ok with skipping the honeymoon and that when we were married for 10 years we could take that honeymoon together. Super sweet, right?
Well, we booked the Bahamas trip for August 2020 but COVID had other plans. Thanks COVID 🙄. Then as you all know, him and the AF started their little relationship in September of 2020. Well, this weekend he took our honeymoon trip, with her. A lot of really crappy things have happened since I found out about the affair in November, but this one really hurt. I gave this man 13 years of my life, 2 kids, a home, bought him 2 cars, made countless meals, stayed up with newborns and sick children, shuttled the kids to activities, etc. And my 'reward' for years of doing literally everything was taking her on the trip we booked together. He really twisted the knife he plunged into me with this one. So this past weekend I unplugged. Took the boys to the beach and had our own mini vacation. I was keeping myself occupied and spent time making memories with the boys.
Saturday evening after the boys are in bed my phone rings. It's my XMIL. She probably is just checking up on the kids. A bit of back story, they've had a rocky relationship over the years and he does not speak to her for things that I found out later were mostly just lies and stories he made up in his head. Anyway, I ignored the call. I just didn't feel like chatting. A few minutes later my XSIL calls me. Now I think something is wrong. I answer. She is concerned and angry. 'Are you ok? What's going on? Have people been calling you?' I was so confused. Well as it turns out his AF took a picture of them together in the Bahamas, posted to her Facebook and tagged my STBX. What? I was in complete shock. Let me explain..
A lot of people don't know about our situation. I haven't told my extended family, most of my coworkers and even some friends. He was so paranoid about his family finding out because he knew they would be upset, especially his grandmother who thinks he is the golden child. So, there it is. Out in social media for all to see. Our shared family members, my coworkers and friends. I was livid. He took away the possibility of us salvaging our marriage with his affair. My hands were tied, he was in love with someone else. Fine. Now he took away my privacy. My marital status is now out there for all to know. Again, I was stripped of the ability to make a decision for myself and tell people on my own time. I went through my phone and saw I had missed calls from 2 coworkers and a friend. I can only assume that's why they called. I haven't called them back because I don't know what to say, 'Haha yea I'm separated! Yea, I didn't want to tell people till I was legally divorced. Yes, he has a girlfriend. Sure, I'll retell the story and live through that pain again, no problem!'
So I confronted him via text. His response? 'We are divorced in everything but the paperwork. You've gone on dates and living your life just like I am.' Ummmm, what? You mean the only thing that really signifies a divorce is the one things we don't have? What an idiot. And yes, I've gone on a handful of dates but I'm not posting about each one to social media and sending selfies to our family and friends. Look, I get it. You are in a relationship and you are happy. That is great. All I'm asking for is a little respect. You publicizing your vacation with her also effects me. But, I guess you have to give a shit first to recognize that.
I want you all to know I read each and every one of your comments. A lot of you have stated that I need to start doing for me. I want you all to know that I hear you and I agree with you. I have been wrestling with a decision for the past few weeks now concerning my future and the boys' well being. Today when I pick up the boys from his apartment I am going to tell him my plan in which I require his signature. I hope he doesn't fight me on this. It's what's best. I don't want to reveal too much or my reasoning as you never know who is reading. I will update you all soon.
Home Sweet Home
Months ago when we started the mediation process there was a great deal of negotiating. We both flip flopped on our wants and made compromises. One thing I was never willing to compromise was retaining the house in the divorce. I made concessions and declined alimony but never wavered on the house. It was agreed that the house would be 100% mine and there would be no alimony. Now, because my STBX was so done with the mediation process and looking forward to his new life, he never took the time to have the house properly assessed. Instead he opted to just take a number off an outdated website and use that as our base point to figure out home value. Idiot. Our mediator did the numbers based on what we owe on the house and what our profits would each be. Then she figured out what alimony over a period of time would be and it was close to what his profit for the house would be. So he agreed to the arrangement. But, the home value was inaccurate. He didn't know that, but I did...
So, now that our divorce agreement filed into court has me owning the house (which is only in my name btw), I had to have him sign off that I could sell it before the divorce was finalized and that he could not retain any of the profit from the sale. He came over to pick up the boys and I talked to him about it. I explained how a move would help the boys as we would go live with my mother who lives in a fabulous school district. It would also help me to not struggle financially and allow me to return to school for my 3rd degree without worrying about tuition or childcare. Our kids would have round the clock care from me and my retired parents and be close to their cousins who also live in that town. He agreed it was a good idea, signed the paperwork and left. I immediately sent the papers to my lawyer. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The next morning I awake to a long text message from him. With time to think and time to speak to his AP probably, he became very angry. He accused me of making a selfish decision and it wasn't best for the boys. So you mean to tell me a better school system, town sponsored sports teams, living with grandparents who have time to spend with them, going to school with their cousins of the same age and allowing me the ability to not struggle financially and provide them with more is a selfish idea? So I asked him, when he plans to move across the country to be with AP, will that move be in the best interest of the boys or him? Silence. He knew I was right so he switched gears. He then complained about the commute for him to pick up and drop off. I reminded him this move adds to my daily work commute as well and is not just an issue for him. But it would benefit the boys so I'm willing to do it. Plus it's only 18 miles farther from him. It isn't clear across the state.
Then the real reason; he wants money. He said he deserves some of the profit for the money he contributed for 10 years. Ok, I see your point, but you gave me the house willingly after I declined alimony. Then you signed off willingly that I could sell before the marriage was finalized. You should have done your research about what the house was worth like the mediator suggested instead of just relying on the internet. If I give you a dime it's out of the goodness of my heart because I'm not obligated to do anything for you. So I asked him, after all these months and what you put me through, do you deserve my kindness? He changed the subject and complained about something else. Avoiding the question and the obvious answer.
Now I get to truly start over. My boys and I will be surrounded by family who love and support us. I will have zero financial worries, be able to return to school, put money away for the boys college and have enough left to put down on another home when the housing market settles down. This is a decision that was necessary for my future and the future of my boys. I've been waiting to get to the point to be able to do this and the time is now. The boys will start in a new school with their cousins in September and I am already looking into town sports and activities for them. I know my STBX is angry and bitter about this, especially since his hands are tied. But he made a decision for himself a few months ago to start this affair and that was exactly how I felt. Now we both move on and look towards the future we selected for ourselves.
Layups and Rebounds
The past few days I spent at the beach with my dearest friend and her children. The kids played, ate pizza, swam and made great memories. We all did. I appreciated the mental break from life and just kicking back and soaking in all life has to offer. In the evening we tucked in our children, who were rightfully exhausted, and then sat outside in the warm salty air and talked. We sipped white wine and gabbed for most of the evening. It was so lovely and a reminder that good friends are so necessary. The family that you can choose. Of course our conversation drifted from time to time to my STBX and that is to be expected. She started speculating on why and when and all other factors that could have lead to his decision and there were so many questions. After finishing our glasses we came to the conclusion that there is no rhyme or reason and logic fails us in this inquiry.
What we did start to explore, which I had not previously, was what were her motivations? She legally divorces and a month later is dating my STBX. Granted they were friends and former colleagues, but to jump right into serious dating less than a month after a divorce seemed strange. My friend then said, 'She didn't even get the chance to have a rebound!'. Then it hit me; is my STBX the rebound? A man was giving her comfort during a difficult time, giving her gifts, flying to her, etc. Is it possible this is a safe and comfortable rebound for her? Aside from regular visits, he has flown out there 3 times just to accompany her to weddings. During my investigation before confrontation I read multiple messages from him telling her that he loved her and she did not reciprocate that sentiment. Maybe she does now, but she did not then.
Again, I know this is futile, a waste of my time and will be fruitless; but I'm so curious to this possibility. I know many have stated that I speak too much about him, should move on, live my life, I am woman hear me roar, but the real truth is this post is therapy to me. A diary entry if you will. At no point did I ever expect or promise to be a role model or a beacon of shiny light to struggling victims of infidelity. Instead, I am being honest and truthful to what surviving a cheater looks like. It's unforgiving, it's empowering, it's a struggle and most importantly, it's a process. So yes, I will get to the happy place we all hope for, but until then this is the journey. Take the ride with me and see the reality, or sit on the sidelines and wait for the happy ending. Makes no difference to me because I'm strapped in and gunning the gas. Buckle up buttercup because it's full speed ahead.
The Red Eye
Back in May of this year I made the custody schedule that my STBX and I currently follow. I took into consideration all of his visits out to see her and I structured a fair and equal schedule. Again, that was May. He left on Wednesday evening to go visit her and he was set to take a red eye home last night (Sunday) and then pick the boys up this morning. I confirmed the pick up times before he left and even during the day Sunday. I awoke to this message today:
While I was not happy he seems sincere and I understand flights are currently unpredictable. I had appointments scheduled for today and plans this evening which I had to reschedule. I had to also explain to the boys that the schedule for today had now changed. I told him he should probably avoid red eyes moving forward and he agreed. Again, I'm relaying all of this to you very calmly but I was a bit frustrated and annoyed this morning. Then I retold the story to my sister and she commented, 'It seems weird that he got the same exact flight time. Sunday flight schedules are usually different than Monday's.' She was right... So, I looked up the airport he was flying out of and there was no delayed or canceled flight scheduled for that time on Sunday evening. He was lying. He never scheduled a flight for Sunday. He was always due to return Monday evening, he just didn't bother to tell me. When I called him out on it and asked for his flight cancelation information, he just sent the new flight for this evening and said he 'wasn't going to get into this with me today'. All I asked for was a screen shot from his United account showing the flight was canceled and he couldn't do that. Instead he just insisted I was crazy and failed to provide any evidence that he was in fact telling the truth.
This is a great example of what he does. On the exterior he is kind and apologetic, but deep down he is manipulative and sneaky. Then when I call him on the BS he is defensive and dismissive. I'm frustrated because he is always telling me we need to communicate better and meanwhile he still refuses to do so. 'Do as I say, not as I do'. I wonder if the AP knows he did this? I doubt it. This woman is welcoming this pathological, manipulative liar into her life and she has no idea. I honestly feel bad for her but I guess that's what you get when you knowingly poach a cheater. He is probably telling her I'm going off on him for a completely different reason. Always making me the bad guy.
I feel a bit defeated because I know while he lives here and we share this custody arrangement he will continue to take advantage and manipulate me. Then he gaslights me into thinking I'm crazy. It's a cycle that I don't know how to break. The part that angers me the most is if he would have told me before he left that he needed an extra day I would have been accommodating. I wouldn't have booked appointments or made evening plans. I would have said 'ok' and told him I'd like to just tack on an extra day somewhere for me. No harm, no foul. Why couldn't he just do that? Why build a story about being at the airport most of the night, talking to flight reps for 2 hours, trying to get earlier flights that were booked or expensive, why do any of that? What/who are you protecting? I honestly don't understand his motivations or reasoning. All I know is that I need this behavior to stop so I can go about my life.
Money Matters
First and foremost let me just say, the audacity of my STBX will never cease to amaze me. With that being said, let's talk about money. January 2020 my STBX and I created an MSA. This MSA had me declining alimony and keeping the house. Come March 2020 he wanted to change the MSA for a different custody arrangement, not for the house or other assets. June 2020 we sign our MSA but in our state once the paperwork is served to the defendant they have 30 days to contest the MSA; spoiler, he did not contest. July 2020 I decide I want to sell the house so I have him sign another legal document waiving his right to the home and any equity/profit from sale. Now we fast forward to September 2020. He wants the house. I swear this man makes his own rules. Luckily I had hired a lawyer already and she explained to me that his chances of getting the house now are non existent but he could fight the relocation of the children.
She explained that would be a lengthy procedure and very expensive on both of our ends. I know for a fact my STBX is struggling financially so I called his bluff. I told him to get a lawyer. I can prove financially that I need to sell the house. I can also show they are moving to a far better school district, will be attending school with their cousins, have more opportunity for extracurriculars and will have round the clock care from grandparents. I took the children to see their new school and it is quit amazing, the kids are so excited to go to their new school! I have all of the chips stacked in my favor. Also our MSA has him tentatively moving out of state at some point. Why would a judge agree to keep them closer to their dad if he will be leaving soon? His defense for the relocation? It's a long drive... Really?? The commute went from 12 miles to 28 miles. I didn't move across the state. Is it convenient? No, I get that, but it's not impossible.
He suggested the boys start their new school in January. January?! He said they should stay in the house until it is sold. This suggestion makes no sense. If the commute is your issue how does that commute change in January? Newsflash: It doesn't. It makes zero sense to have the kids start a routine only to pull them out. They will start a new school and be behind on whatever curriculum they are teaching. So I thought about it, what is his motivation to push for January? Then I realized, his lease is up in March. He is probably moving to her state. So a commute from January to March is much easier than September to March. Once again, a decision made in his best interest and not in the boys'. I think he sees the odds are not in his favor on this one and he has stopped fighting me...for now.
So money. It makes the world go round, right? It apparently makes my divorce more complicated as well (insert eye roll). MY STBX since learning I would be selling the house has asked me on different occasions for 5k, then 10k, then 15k and now with the threat of lawyers, 20k. Ummm, did you eat paint chips as a kid? Cause you are serious delusional. You are entitled to nothing. If I give you a dime it's because I want to and you can't give me a dollar amount that i am 'gifting' you. It's my money, buddy. I told him I'm no longer entertaining talks of money with him. He knows he's at my mercy and I kinda like it.
Lastly, I received a Facebook message on 8/23 which I never saw because the person was not my friend. I saw it yesterday and low and behold it's the AP's ex-husband. He says to me: 'Hi (insert real name), it's (insert AP EX name). How are you? I feel like we should talk. Maybe we can help each other figure some things out? I just wanted to reach out and see if you wanted to talk about anything. I am not really that surprised. They talked for years.' Wow, plot twist. I've heard terrible stories about him. But the AP has heard terrible stories about me which were untrue. Could she be as big of a liar as my STBX? Could the APEX know more than I do about their affair when it comes to timeline? Maybe he knows a move date? I feel like this is a conversation I should entertain, but cautiously. I messaged him back and I'm awaiting a reply. I will post once I have some answers.
The APEX (9/10/21)
Readers, I'm sorry it has been so long, especially with the cliff hanger I left you with. My life, as usual, has been a bit upside down. Between moving, selling the house, starting back to in person school and my graduate program I don't know if I'm coming or going. But I of course made time to speak with the AP's Ex (APEX). First of all, as I stated in pervious post, I was told this man was a terrible person. A drunk, a gambler, a womanizer, etc. And stupid me, I listened. But now I can hear the other side of the story. One that isn't tainted by my ex and his AP. I learned so much so forgive me if it seems all jumbled. I have no idea where to start. So in a nutshell, here is what I learned:
He did have a drinking problem but got sober in 2017. The APEX has known that they have talked for years and unlike me, knew there was romance brewing. I learned that my STBX met her a few years ago for dinner when she was in the area for work and he told her that he loved her. She told her SO and he said he knew at that moment something would happen with them eventually and he shut down emotionally with her. That was the beginning of the end for him. He confirmed my notion that she liked to be fawned over. He suspects she entertained my STBX for the attention and to receive attention from her SO. Gross, right? Anyways, they were not meshing and grew apart. They did not divorce in September of 2020 as I was told, but instead they separated at that time and weren't legally divorced till March 2021. Even grosser, right? She raked this man over the coals financially as well. She closed out their join account and took all the money and then filed for divorce. What a peach, huh? She brought up his 2017 rehab stint to get full custody with supervised visitation for him. She is also introducing him to her family and friends as her new boyfriend and leaving out the affair and the fact that he is married still. The APEX is apparently still friendly with her family and some friends and wants to make sure that this fact becomes common knowledge. Justified exposure and I'm here for it. The APEX also thought my STBX was already living in their state and was not aware he was staying in her house with her when he visits. Spoiler: It's his house, not hers. Needles to say he is NOT happy about this. He was also not aware till he found me on Facebook that we had children together. Apparently this wasn't an important detail for the AP to bring up when she mentioned my STBX to him. He also confirmed that she is a spender, money is like water, and she will probably bleed my STBX dry. We ended our hours long text chain with a job for each other. He is tasked with finding out the official move date for my STBX and he would like to know when he is traveling to their state and staying in their house. Phew. That was a lot. I hope you were able to digest all of that.
I had a rather expensive phone call with my lawyer the other day. It turns out he can challenge the MSA for the house but it will be a long process and the divorce will probably be finalized by the time it goes through. She also said the timing isn't good, as he had his 35 days to dispute the MSA and he has waited until after I put the house on the market to fight for it. She assures me the judge will see this as a back peddling money grab on a legal document that we both agreed to and not support it. As for my relocation, he can also dispute that but I officially live in this new town and have completely moved out of my house. My STBX claims I violated my MSA with legal custody enrolling them in a new school. My lawyer again reminded me I am the custodial parent and if I moved they have to go to school where ever I live. He is still pushing for the 20k and my lawyer is confident he has zero grounds for receiving it and will ultimately give up this fight as it's an expensive legal process and he is currently in the red financially. Oh, get this, the boys had their first day of school on Thursday (9/9) and I was going to pick them up from my STBX place on 9/8 and bring them with me so that they can start fresh in the morning. The evening of 9/8 was technically his night to have them but he agreed to me taking them days prior. So he sends me a text claiming that 9/8 was his night and he would keep them home on their first day of school unless I agree to the 20k. Excuse me, did you just hold my children prisoner for a check? Are you admitting truancy? I told my lawyer this and she balked. She said this will be the first screen shot she presents if and when we go to court. Bottom line, nothing is in his favor. His AP is trying to squeeze me like she did her ex. But baby girl, you don't know me, so you obviously don't know who you are fucking with.
Playing The Long Game (9/20/21)
Have you ever seen 'A Bronx Tale'? It's a classic coming of age mafia drama with a touch of romance and a dash of racial tension. Ok, I'm no Siskel & Ebert, but I think this film is must watch. Lately I've been thinking about this film much more. There is a scene in the movie in which the young protagonist is angry at a kid who has not paid him back $20 that he lent him. Sonny, the wise crime boss/father figure asks him, 'Was he a good friend of yours?' and the young man replies, 'No, I don't even fuckin like him'. So Sonny tells him, 'There's your answer right there. Look at it this way, it cost you $20 to get rid of him. He's out of your life forever'. I keep circling back to this scene because I feel like it is so relevant to me now. My wish, selfish as it may seem to some, has always been that my STBX would move away and leave my boys and I to move on peacefully. Is it possible that by giving him a check that I could make this happen? Again, I'm just toying with this idea. I know my STBX. I know what he ultimately wants and that's to leave and start a life with her. If I give him money I would be financing his move out of my life. Let me explain how I know this to be true..
Last week when we argued about money and he asked for a ridiculous sum of 20k to pay for his expenses of shuffling the boys back and forth and wear and tear on his car I called his bluff. I told him I'd give him the 20k but stipulated that he can't move out of state for 2 years. He was enraged at this. 'You can't tell me what to do with it and where I can live, blah blah blah.' If he really wanted money to pay for commuting expenses for the kids (like he claimed) he would have snatched this deal. But he didn't, so I know he has no intention of staying. So if (and I said IF) I decide to give him money it would only be carried out after he signs a legal document stating that he is receiving a one time payment. I have been more open to this idea because: 1) I want him to go, 2) My house is under contract and I am receiving well over asking, 3) If he moves out of state he owes me close to 1k a month in child support and I'll make my initial 'investment' back in no time. But I also HATE the idea. This man bet it all and won. I was the victim and I lost and I feel like I keep losing. I know I'm playing the long game here and years from now when the AP bleeds him dry and/or he cheats again (cause he will) and/or my kids grow to learn what he did and want not part of him, I will have won. But I feel like for that to happen I have to take some lumps now. I'm going all 3 rounds and the bell hasn't even rung for the end of the 1st. I have a lot of thinking and talking to my lawyer to do. Is it another loss for me to give him the money, or is it just another of my elaborate (yet patient) plans like the one that started this post months ago? I'm still debating...
Father of the Year (9/24/21)
Sometimes, and only sometimes, my life shocks even me. I sit back and look at the situation and think, 'This poor girl. How did she ever get here?'. Then I snap back to reality and realize that poor girl is me. Just when I think the worst has been done and I've seen it all another event surprises even me. It's like I'm walking around in complete state of disbelief and my jaw is locked in an open and stupefied position. Four very short days ago I actually had a moment of weakness and entertained the idea of giving him what he wanted (yet again) and signing a check over to him. And then, just to kick himself in the pants, today happens and now there is zero doubt in my mind. He will never see anything from me and that's the only thing he will be able to take to the bank.
Wednesday and Thursday night, according to this months custody schedule that HE made, were supposed to be his overnights. He told me a few days ago that he had to be in work very early Friday morning and asked if I he could dropped the boys off Thursday evening and lose his night with them due to work. I said 'ok' and we kept it moving. Today (Friday) while at work I get a text from APEX. The AP text him to warn him that my STBX would be there at 8am Saturday morning to watch their oldest child's sports practice. She wanted to give him a heads up and asked APEX to be respectful. This would be the first time they have met. APEX isn't thrilled about it and I don't blame him. But, APEX text me to give me a heads up that he was in their state. But wait, how could this be? He had to go into work this morning (he usually works from home #thankscovid) and there is no way he could be there. So I thought about it; how could I figure out that he took a flight this morning or potentially after work today? Then I remembered, he has my EZ-Pass in his car. If you don't know what EZ-Pass is, it is a toll pass transponder that allows you to zip through road tolls but records the date, time and location. So, I returned to my Nancy Drew days of yore and logged into my account. And there it was, he left his apartment at the first toll at 5:58am and exited at the toll for the airport at 6:03 (yes it's a short distance, especially at 6am). This was not the direction he needed to head to for work. He obviously boarded a plane this morning. So he gave up an evening with his kids, on a night he scheduled, to go to see her and her children, and then lied to me about it. Just to be at her son's practice and eat dinner with them and not his own boys. Ladies and Gents I present to you, father of the fuckin' year.
So i call him, multiple times. No answer and forwarded to VM most of the times as well. Then I text him, he reads but does not respond. Then he finally responds almost 3 hours later and says he was on a plane and wasn't ignoring me and he didn't board until after he was done with work which was after 1pm. Then I tell him I've seen the EZ-Pass and he reads my messages and doesn't respond. He has been caught. He has no defense. Caught in a timestamped lie. How can you defend yourself from that? Spoiler: You can't. But honestly, I'm happy. So, so happy. He helped me make my decision about the money. For the tiniest second I thought we were going to reach common ground and be amicable. That we've establish mutual respect and were going to be forth coming adults. HAHAAHAHAHAHAHA, stupid me. He's an idiot and incapable of that. Insert face-palm slap. So, I deactivated the EZ-Pass, have fun paying tolls on your way home. He's broke and can't afford a lawyer's retainer so he just paid a fee to have a document drafted that asks for the 20k. I'm supposed to sign it and return it to him. I told my lawyer to ignore the letter. It's not a filed motion, it's a letter asking, no no, begging, for money he doesn't deserve. So it will be ignored. Want to take me to court? Pay a lawyer like I did. And then after you wasted money you don't have, on a case that I have checked and doubled checked that I can't lose, then maybe you'll see how royally screwed you really are.
Chess Game 9/27/21
At about 10:30am I had to text him. I didn't want to, I want to start keeping him at arm's length. But I had to make sure he was picking the boys up from school. So I text him and asked for confirmation. He seemed confused as to why I needed confirmation. Perhaps it's because you are irresponsible and completely unpredictable? I had questions for him about why he lied but i realized asking would be futile. He would just lie, or gaslight or even ignore. So I decided to do the same. Why am I jeopardizing my sanity? It's like pulling teeth and honestly, all the teeth are rotten. But then, to my surprise, he starts interrogating me. He has questions about APEX. Well apparently APEX spoke to the AP and stated that he questioned my STBX's character since he is still married. Her response? 'They separated before we did (lie) and their paperwork has been in the courts for over a year waiting to be processed' (2nd lie). I think I see why my STBX and her get along so well! Literally made for each other. Anyway, APEX knew when we separated and that we are still married. So he retorted that we've only been separated since 12/2020. And this is why men can't be trusted. I trusted APEX with a little bit of info and our cover is blown. My STBX wanted to know how he knew this since apparently me, him and the AP are the only ones who know we are still legally married. What's wrong hunny? Afraid people will find out your dirty little secret? Her friends and family will find out that she is a husband stealer? Yikes, that won't help the perfect little image you have.My STBX claimed the APEX is scum, unsafe, can't be trusted and if I'm talking to him I need to stop. Wait, hold up. Did you just try to tell me what to do? I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone who has to listen to you. Cause I know damn well that's not me. So I ask, 'What does it matter if I talked to him? I didn't choose to have children with him. If he is so unstable her procreating with him is more unsafe than me speaking to him.' This sounds like a her problem and not a me problem. Again, I think him saying he is unsafe for the children is using her kids as the scapegoats. I think they are just afraid of their dirty laundry being aired.
Concerning the neglecting of our kids to hop a plane to her state; he claims that I have it all wrong. Warning: Here comes the lies and gaslighting! He claims he drove to the airport in the morning, boarded mass transit and headed to work. Then returned to the airport and hopped a plane. Are. You. Crazy?! This is the craziest thing I've ever heard. Not to mention he lives in a commuter town, closer to the city he works in than the actual airport. How does this even make sense. My reply, 'Listen _____, it doesn't matter. I don't ever expect you to be honest and that's fine. You've lied to me for over a decade and I don't expect any of that to change. It doesn't matter, it's AP's issue now, not mine!' Then he went on to defend himself, claiming he 'hasn't lied about a thing'. A dear friend told me, he thinks he is playing you and winning but he is playing this game alone. I'm not a competitor sitting across from him at the chessboard. Each time he thinks he's winning by dealing me a blow he's actually hurting himself. Every lie he tells makes it a little bit easier to not give a shit. Every stupid, selfish thing he does only helps my case against him. He is playing this chess game by himself and every winning move is a loss. Only once the divorce is finalized, and the chessboard is cleared, will he see that his king has fallen and all the pieces are mine.
Part 4- https://www.reddit.com/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/rmpqe5/my_husband_is_currently_on_a_vacation_with_his/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
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Link from OP- https://www.reddit.com/cheating_stories/comments/oqbfnq/thread_3_confronting_my_husband_while_hes_on/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

DISCLAIMER- I am not the original poster. This is a repost sub, OP is u/hell_hath_no_fury__
This is so long that I will divide the post on BestofRedditorUpdates into 4 parts. The post was written 1year ago and it's subsequent updates were given over the months.
Settle in, get some popcorn, and read how the story unfolds: https://www.reddit.com/cheating_stories/comments/kg886u/my_husband_is_currently_on_a_vacation_with_his/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
Hello Reddit! Forgive me as I am new to the online community. Just wanted to tell my story and maybe get some input. I [37F] accidentally found out last month my husband [38M] was using 'work trips' as an excuse to sleep with his also married coworker who lives across the country. When I say accidentally; he sent me a screen shot of Amazon purchases for our children and included at the bottom of the photo was a delivery to this woman. So yes, the worried wife in me checked his search history and email. It was all right there! I learned his November trip was a romantic getaway but this current one is luxurious! A spa resort complete with couples massages, couples cooking classes and monogramed bathrobes from etsy. He mailed her a box of gifts a few days ago for Christmas (how sweet), he purchases sexy lingerie, sent her money on venmo and even started planning a January trip to Las Vegas. I was furious when I learn all this but I kept my composure.
My plan: He left this morning for his 'work trip' but before he left I gathered all evidence of his affair. I spent 4 weeks collecting emails, credit card statements, reservations and confirmations. I wrote him a 10 page letter, put it in an envelope and taped it inside the lining of his suitcase. I plan on sending a group text to him and his mistress right after check in telling them to enjoy their trip. I will also inform them that a letter is in his suitcase and that I want a divorce. I wrote a special section just for her and I want to make sure she sees it so I will be emailing her the letter as well.
He is currently in the air. My group text goes out this evening. Stay tuned...
UPDATE!
His flight landed 1 1/2 hours ago. He told me he would text me when he landed and he has yet to do so. I have text him twice, they were delivered but not read. I checked our phone records and he text both me and her during his lay over. His email shows no Uber receipt from his final destination airport to his hotel. She must have picked him up. Something I probably should have clarified in my OP. She lives in the state he is visiting. So he flew alone.
I will be sending a group text to both him and his mistress in 2 hours as that will be 4pm their time and check in.
UPDATE #2
Sent pictures of our children and he did not respond. FYI he is in the middle of the desert.My texts are going through green which puts a monkey wrench in my plan for a group text to him and his mistress. Need suggestions. Should I call the hotel? Connect right to their room. I worked so hard for this, it has to be tonight. HELP!
UPDATE #3
Thank you to everyone standing by and waiting. My best friend has come to my house to help me through this. It seems my texts are going through green (undelivered) but when my friend tried it is blue and delivered.HE HAS BLOCKED ME! I guess that helps his guilt.The plan now is to call the hotel. Will wait a few minutes after check in to make the call. Very soon. Please stand by.
UPDATE #4
Like most of you predicted he does not care, He had zero answers for my questions. That was. the mot hurtful part. But guess what, I have all the emotional support and economic support so i'm not mad. Every question I asked he had no response because his mistress was sitting there. I suspect when he is home alone with me, his answers will be different. I have made sure that he will not emotionally and financially fuck me because I have secured support from family and friends. He can go FUCK himself!!!!!!
UPDATE #5
Called his hotel room. Talked to his mistress and finally lost my shit. He ended up calling me a few minutes later and had zero empathy. I'm shocked, but I'm not. He said a divorce was in order and fought me on nothing. I expected him to be sad, he was not, but thats ok. I started packing up his shit, I have some great friend who helped me put everything in the garage. Good riddance? I guess so...
The Morning After
I wake this morning broken. My house is in shambles as I went on a rampage yesterday ripping photos off the wall, throwing his stuff in piles on the floor and breaking random objects in anger. Now that I've had a nights sleep I feel that I am a bit clearer in my thinking as I analyze the 'conversation' we had yesterday. He was different on the phone. That was not the man I know, but who was the man I've known? Because everything was a lie. The only thing he cared about on the phone was getting the kids. Which is perfectly ok, he should want to see his kids. But he refused to answer any question I had or admit to anything. I personally feel his lack of remorse was because he was sitting in front of his mistress. If I confronted him at home this would not have been his reaction. When he comes home Monday night I expect to see a different man. Also, in my conversation with the mistress I learned she is recently separated.
I called my mom. That was hard. While she and my dad have always been loving and supporting it was hard to make that phone call. I felt like a failure. I know it wasn't my doing but to admit that I made a poor choice in a spouse was difficult. Was this all because of a mistake I made 13 years ago? Honestly it doesn't matter. I have 2 days to empty my house of his things.
Who do I tell? Do I call his dad? Do I tell his mother? Best friend? Work buddies? I wish there was a manual on how to do this because I'm lost. Even with all my preparation I'm still humiliated.
Luckily he did not take his house keys when he left. So no need to change the locks, I'll be removing his keys and sending him on his way. I don't plan on seeing him when he gets home Monday night. Doors are locked, everything you own is in the garage, have your people talk to my people and I'll see you never.
Preparing for the Return
My friends and family have been wonderful. I am so fortunate to have such great people in my life. Yesterday they came to help me move all of his clothing to the garage. His collectibles were all packed up and sitting here, waiting to be appraised. It took a very long time and I was exhausted afterwards; but it was necessary. I honestly don't think he expects me to have gone to such great lengths to remove him from my life. Because I was so emotional when I confronted him there is a chance that he thinks I will want to reconcile. Fat chance, buddy. His flights lands a little before 10pm tonight. When he Ubers back home the doors will be locked. He told me on the phone he was just getting his car and leaving. I will be holding him to that. Something I should have mentioned earlier, the house is in my name only. He had no credit when we first started looking so everything is in my maiden name and purchased by me. Health insurance, car insurance, cell phones, utilities are all in my name. The only thing his name is on is his car. I think he realizes now that could all come back to bite him. I don't want a messy divorce, I'm willing to listen to his demands and try and meet in the middle on as many things as possible. He obviously doesn't care anymore so I'm going to do my best to not care and treat this like a business deal.
The Dust has Settled
It's been a few days since his return. For a man who so diligently planned a secret retreat with his mistress he took no time to plan for his return 'home.' He has been living in the basement since Monday. I allowed him to watch the children open gifts on Christmas but he has since returned to the basement. We have contacted 3 mediators and have appointments next week to start the mediation process. It's obviously over. We had a conversation/argument upon his return and he actually asked about reconciliation. I laughed. I laughed uncontrollably. Of course he pushed blame stating that our marriage has been over for a long time. Well, that's news to me. His actions of an affair were selfish and avoidant. He didn't want to have that hard conversation with me about counseling or divorcing and this route was easier and a lot more fun. Let's face it, he likes the attention of 2 women loving and pining over him. Well, I'm not longer playing that game. She wins, and oh what a prize he is! I have been amicable about talking about the terms of our separation. My biggest hang up is her. He may continue seeing her and I have questions about her character. What kind of woman/mother cheats with a man she knows is married and knows has children? When I confronted her on the phone last Saturday and asked her that question she was silent. I asked if she was 'sorry' and it was as if the line went dead. That kind of person I do not want around my children. People who show no remorse, especially when they are in the wrong, are not kind people.
I have found solace in friends and family and thank you to everyone's recommendation of ChumpLady. I'm half way through the book, read through the website and find it so helpful. Thank you again to everyone. I can't believe the outpouring of support. To the trolls, sorry you think I'm an unfit and inattentive wife, but cheaters cheat because they want to. Thank you again to all, not sure if you want a mediation update or if my story is over. Either way, I'm happy to have 'met' you all.
Where is the 'fault'?
If you listen to the books and advice always given about cheaters it all says the same thing: It's not you, they made a choice. MY STBX insists things were bad. While I don't think we were Pam and Jim or Lucy and Ricky, I think things were good. This process has made me review who I am, who I've been and who I want to be. Could I have made changes? Yes. Was I perfect? Absolutely not. But my decisions and actions were never detrimental to our marriage. They were more like sacrifices. And now I'm having those sacrifices thrown at me and I'm being called neglectful. Is all this about attention? A narcissistic need to be the apple of someone's eye? Him and the AP are now blissfully in the honeymoon stage. Vacations, late night phone calls like teenagers, present buying, etc. But what happens when the other shoe drops? What happens when she sees that he has very little patience with children? That he will walk past a a sink full of dishes completely blind to them? When he doesn't pay the phone bill for 2 months because he is spending money on silly gadgets? What then? While it's not my problem, I'm sure his AP will take issue with these things. Perhaps then she will be put in the situation I've been in for a decade. Should she be the glue and hold it all together or should she neglect responsibilities for his neediness? I've been told by him ( someone who is having a relationship and spending large sums of money on someone else) that I'm at fault. Perhaps, but what about the decades of cleaning up your messes? Maybe if I would have had 2 hour conversations with him every night things would be different, but to be honest, I'm happy I'm here. Now reflecting back I see how under appreciated I was. How neglected I was. All these year I thought I was helping but I was really being taken advantage of and this affair is no different.
Just a word of advice to all the mess cleaners, excuse makers, and spouse sheltering people reading this. Stop. Stop now. I've learned that all the 'helping' is simply them learning how to manipulate you. Draw that line in the sand. Prepare for an uncomfortable situation when they start to stumble under the pressures of real life. But don't lose yourself. I lost myself years ago and it's not a place you want to be.
Mediation & The Move.
We had our first mediation appointment via Zoom yesterday. It was very amicable, but only because I don't want to fight and I just want this to be over. He apparently wants nothing. Not the house, not the furniture, not what he's entitled to of my pension; he just wants to be done as well. As I've been packing up things in the house to declutter I've been offering him things, but he wants nothing. I suspect the moment our marriage is dissolved he will be packing up his collectables and clothing and driving across the country to live with her. I guess I should be ok with this as I don't want to be married to him anymore. It just kills me that he will be moving in with her and helping her raise her 2 children while mine are fatherless. It makes me so angry. Seething. The man who was abandoned by his father is now doing the same thing. Something he said would never ever happened because of the mental issues it has given him today. Well, it looks like that, as well as mostly everything else, was a lie. Again, I take solace in the fact that their honeymoon phase will be short lived. Reality will smack them both in the face and she will realize that he can be more hurt than help.
While I wish him well and hope the best, our kids deserve more than a Christmas/Easteone week in the summer father. No dad at basketball games, cub scouts, birthday parties and school plays. Meanwhile AP will have him and her children's biological father. I guess nothing in life is fair and my boys will have to learn that lesson early than I had hoped.
He's Gone.
My STBX left yesterday morning to visit her. I told him to go. I didn't want to spend NYE with him and our COVID circle friends who we celebrate with have zero interest in seeing him either. He booked a flight 30 minutes after I told him to go. My only stipulation was that he is back for this weekend as it's my birthday and I really need a day to myself. I've watched the kids for 3 weekends now while he went to see his mistress, I thought I at least deserved my birthday to relax. He text me while he was boarding that he won't be home for my birthday. Well then... He claims when he booked this he booked a return for the evening of my birthday. When he tried to change it he was put on standby, it would cost $1000 to change, it was a red eye etc. The excuses kept coming. He apparently does not realize I have access to the internet as well and flights are less than $300 with the airline he flew. I told him this and he said those flights weren't there when he booked (lies) and he will take care of it. I just want him to be honest. If you don't want to be here for my birthday, just say it. If you don't want to spend the day with your children, just tell me. I can't force you to be a parent. I told him the flights were available and affordable, it's his choice to rebook. Ball is in your court. That's all I can do, right? Stay tuned for an update on his return this weekend..
NYE Nightmare.
It was 12:40am on NYE and there was still no call from him. I was angry for no other reason than I explained to the kids that even though daddy wasn't with us he would call at midnight to talk to them and wish them a Happy New Year. I was made to be a liar. So, I text my STBX and his excuse was, 'they are with their friends, I didn't want to bother them'. Excuse me? Bother them? You mean you didn't want your kids to bother you is what you are really saying. If I was across the country on NYE without my kids I would have called and done the countdown with them via facetime. I think most parents would. But not him. He said, 'If you would have told me that you told the kids I'd call then I would have.' He tried to spin this on me, that I created this mess. Why do I have to tell you that you need to call your children at midnight? This small act said a lot to me. Our children are not a priority. I guess he didn't want to ruin his perfect vacation at his new girlfriend's house with her children. He has a nice new family now. Today is my birthday and he returns this evening. I told him in my NYE text that I will speak to him on the 12th, our next mediation meeting because I'm done. I tried to be civil for the kids but he is not putting forth the effort for them.
Liar Liar, Pants on Fire.
The past few days have been strange. We rarely talk (a decision on both our parts) and when we do it's about mediation, plans moving forward, or the kids. We have been civil and communicating well about those items. We are also friendly in front of the children as not to upset them. The situation is strange because we are getting along, there is no arguing, it's a shared focus to just get through mediation and divorce. That's fine by me. Last night while I was cleaning the kitchen I heard him on the phone in the basement. I guess he didn't realize the door was left open by one of the children. Not wanting to be a part of the drama anymore I went to close the door. At that point I heard him tell her how 'crazy' I have been acting. Excuse me? We don't speak and when we do it's very civil. How is that crazy? Well, he proceeded to tell her about a conversation we had and he lied about everything. While the conversation part was true he told her I exploded, I was in a rage, I was crying etc. None of that was true. He explained how he laughed in my face at my rage, also not true because there was no rage. I had told him awhile back before the NYE debacle that I would start dating eventually and he proceeded to tell her that I was bragging about guys I'm meeting. So far from the truth. I slammed the basement door. I'm sure he knows I heard. So I ask, 'Why the need to lie and make me a villain?' We aren't staying together, I have no reason to fight with you anymore, that's why we are paying a mediator. Why start lying to your new girlfriend that you love? How is that a good way to start a relationship? I don't know what is happening here...
This is my concern: This woman and him are in love and want to start a life together. Ok, thats fine, God bless and congrats. But, this woman only knows me by the stories (which I'm assuming are all lies) he has told her about me. If he does move across the country to be with her, how can I trust a woman who hates me because of misinformation to treat my children properly? I don't care if she hates me personally, I'll still sleep fine at night, but now I'm worried about sending my kids in the summer to stay with them. I want to confront him about this but I know I can't. Maybe it's not that I can't, but I don't know how. Also, he has told no one we are separated and definitely has not told people why. How come? You initiated this, you cheated, you are happy now, so why can't you tell people? He told his father that he was bringing the kids alone to visit him because he and I 'weren't seeing eye to eye at the moment.' What?! I would assume he's afraid to face the music or is just finding comfort in the little love bubble he has created. He chooses to not face reality. He has yet to look for an apartment for when the divorce is finalized but has booked another fight out to see her for Valentine's Day. He is refusing to face reality and it's so frustrating.
Mediation and Empty Promises
Yesterday was our second mediation appointment. While it was amicable, there was some obvious tension. The tension was not on my end but more on his. Let me explain... During our first mediation we brought up the topic that he might move out of state. At yesterdays meeting I asked what we would do about custody if he moves to this particular state. When I mentioned the state by name the mediator was confused. This prompted her to ask him why this state that is so far away. His answer? 'Well.......' Then silence. He couldn't put into words the fact that he was leaving to be with his girlfriend. I had to finally chime in realizing we are paying by the hour that he was moving to be with his girlfriend. I realized later that was the first time he had semi-confessed to having an affair and a girlfriend to anyone. If you love this person so much why can't you just say it out loud? That whole situation confuses me.
Anyway, when it comes to dollars and cents I will be fine. He will also be fine. He will have enough to do what he needs and so will I. We have agreed to a physical custody scenario that allows him weekend and dinner visits. Fine by me, I want my boys to have their father. But, the situation becomes a bit more difficult when he moves. While he said yesterday he plans to stay here at least a year, I doubt that will actually happen. When he does move across the country he wishes to return for one weekend of every month to see the boys. Again, I'm fine with this scenario but where will he stay that weekend? He has no family. Will he just be taking the boys to a hotel? Again, I don't think he actually thought this through. This is a problem I/we will tackle when he does decide to move.
Lastly, the mediator said it could take about 2 months to finalize everything. He and I spoke after the session to go over some facts and figures and I brought up the tentative finalization date of our marriage. I told him how 2 months is a good amount of time to save some money and find an apartment to which he agreed. I also reminded him about his promise to not return to visit her until our divorce is finalized or he has a place to live. He quickly became frustrated telling me that he knew and tried to shut down the conversation. I told him I'm happy that we are on the same page but I'm not budging. If you leave while you still live here you can not come back, that is something we both agreed to.
Now the big question remains; Who does he break a promise with? Obviously it's a win win for me, stay home and help me with the kids while you save $500+ and move out quickly or leave to visit her and I get you out of the house sooner. I'm happy with either decision. I just want to move on with my life and enjoy my moments with my children.
Out For A Swim
When I took this dive into the Reddit community I had no idea where I would land. I thought my feet would hit shallow ground and I would be ankle deep on the banks in an uncomfortable swimsuit all alone. But to my surprise this deep ocean of Reddit readers have engulfed me into their warm waters and I am surrounded by a sea of support. For this I am thankful. I am also so touched by the droves of people who have reached out for advice or offered their own experiences as lessons to be learned. To the ones seeking advice I tell them, I am not an expert swimmer. I am merely doggy paddling through this sea of hurt and confusion. Please don't use me as a sign of strength. Because the truth is, I am not strong, I am you. I am the woman who reads because they are suspicious of late night phones call her husband takes. I am the spouse who has shouldered the entire family and is in desperate need of support. I am the woman who misses affection from her husband who is next to her in bed every night. I. Am. You. To those people who have yet to catch their partner cheating but are suspicious, trust your gut. Cheating is a coward's choice so be braver than them and face the truth. To the spouse who is 'the fixer' and takes on every challenge, take a step back. When you help (even with good intention) you are actually just hurting yourself. To the spouse who has tried everything to receive physical attention from their partner but to no avail, their affection is probably going somewhere else. These are lesson I wish I could have told myself months, if not years ago. Listen to me. Or just listen to you.
To the sharks in water who call me a 'bad mom', 'a crazy bitch', 'fake' or even just think I'm out of my mind, you will find no blood in this water. So it's best you move on and find a thread where the OP will chum the water for you. It's so very easy to read and judge, this I understand. I just hope that if this ever happens to you that you will be as brave, logical and composed as you expect others to be. If not, you will find sharks circling you as well. So I hope you are as strong of a swimmer as you claim to be.
If you are still reading, my saga/survival continues. Our final mediation papers will arrive this week. We were able to settle everything at the last meeting on 1/12 and the documents just need our signature. After that, the divorce papers need to be served and filed with the county. Then we await our court date which will be done via Zoom. Yes, a bit anticlimactic, but it will still serve its purpose of divorcing. He has started (finally) to look for an apartment but nothing is to his satisfaction. Maybe he is being picky or maybe he is comfortable living in the basement. Either way, once the divorce papers are stamped he needs to be gone. He has started making phone calls to her during the day and I can hear him giggling downstairs. I'm happy he is happy, I really am. That isn't passive aggressive. I know I will be happy one day too, he just got there first and that's ok. I feel like my life is in limbo right now. I can't move forward because I'm chained to the past. I'm hoping his move will be soon. I suspect he wants out for February 1st so he can go visit her for Valentines Day. I hope for his sake (and mine) that he makes his deadline. I will update again after I receive the mediation paperwork and divorce papers are served. I'm sure that will stir up a lot of thought and emotion so I'm certain it will be a doozy. Till then, I'll keep doggy paddling.
Souvenirs
If you have been following along then you know that there was a chance he would leave for Valentine's Day to go visit her. Well, he left this morning. He told the kids, 'I'm going' as he walked out the door leaving me to explain a few hours later that he had to leave to 'work' when they started asking for him. I have learned that I can't have expectations. Just because I would try to be more honest with the kids doesn't mean he would. I was really proud of the fact that I didn't even engage him in the discussion/debate/argument of going. Yes, I had loudly vocalized some feelings a week ago when he told me he was going but I have not engaged him about it since. All I asked was for his flight info so that I would know when to expect him back. He did not provide this information; maybe he thinks I'm not entitled to it. Either way, he left and I was fine. While we had the conversation multiple times (in which he agreed) that he would not visit her again till he had an apartment he has reneged on that agreement. Shocker. He claims that he has every right to be here (which he does legally) and he can do as he pleases. He put a down payment on an apartment a few days ago but says he doesn't know when he is moving. What? The bills he pays in the house are less than the child support he will have to pay, so I think his decision to stay longer might be a financial one. I've offered him any piece of furniture he wants in the house. I even offered to pay for 1/2 of the cost of bunk beds for the boys. I just need him to leave. I have no idea why he is dragging his feet.
BUT, I learned through a mutual friend and former work colleague of theirs that she recently had COVID. When I say recently, I mean the board of health from her state said she could stop quarantining 3 days ago! But what about her kids that are in the home? Where they living there during her quarantine? Are they positive? Perhaps they are asymptomatic? Will my STBX be bringing me and our children home a COVID souvenir?
I'm LIVID.
COVID Insensitivity
For all those messaging me with concern and for updates, I apologize for my tardiness. It has been a heartbreaking 2 weeks. To amend for my absence I will be posting 2 updates tonight.
Let me start from the beginning. My STBX left for his 'get away' on 2/12 and did not return until 2/15. During his blissful vacation my family and I suffered a great loss of one of our most beloved member to COVID. I was a mess. Everyone I love was devastated. I called my STBX on 2/13 and told him the prognosis was not good. It was loud where he was; there were children yelling. He informed me he was outside with her kids. Wow. Can't remember the last time he took our children outside but I digress. I shouldn't have expected him to care about my bad news but he was concerned. I guess there is still a decent bone somewhere in him. That concern would not last long though.
Upon his return, as he usually does, he schedules a COVID test. He scheduled one for 4 days after his return but due to snow in our area he did not go. This I understand, the weather can not be controlled. Then he told me he rescheduled for 4 days later and then does not go. When I questioned him his response was, 'I feel fine.' I suspected since she probably got a negative COVID test shortly before his arrival he felt safe in not getting one. Not until Monday, 3/1, did he finally get tested. A full 2 weeks later. Why? You know my family just suffered a terrible loss to COVID, how could you be so reckless and insensitive? The insensitive question is rhetorical. I obviously know the answer already.
The Real Monster
The day is approaching. Large boxes are being delivered to the house daily containing new furniture to be assembled. The sounds of packing tape being ripped from the spool flood the house every evening. He's moving out.
I'm over joyed! I'm so happy that I have actually started engaging him in conversation. Yes, we have to chat to figure out child support and scheduling but now I'm so ecstatic he's leaving I even ask about his move. I feel like a kid at Christmas! While we were discussing his move (what he would be taking from the home and the schedule for seeing the children) I asked if he planned to visit her. No, this wasn't me prying, we need to set an overnight and weekend schedule for the kids and I was hoping to be accommodating to any trips he had planned. But then my curiosity got the best of me but for a good reason; our children. I asked if she plans to come here to meet the kids. He replied in the affirmative and said she may come. Well, good for you both but I would like to meet her before she meets the children. He went silent. I could tell he was rolling thoughts around in his head or perhaps trying to figure a way out of this situation but he came up empty. He honestly wanted to know why I needed to meet her. Excuse me, come again? You really think I would let my children spend time with someone I didn't know? I'm the mother that interviews babysitters, why would you think I wouldn't want to meet her? He's claims to be worried that I won't be civil but he knows me better than that. I have nothing to gain being rude to her. It's just ammo. I refuse to play that game. Plus why would I care? I don't want him. That's your prize now hunny, congrats! But he recognizes that he can't stop me in this. I have every right to meet her as he would to meet someone I am dating. When it comes to the kids, he/we can't keep secrets.
I think the real concern about us meeting is this: she will realize I'm not the horrible monster he made me out to be. His plans of assassinating my character to build himself up or to receive pity from her and the constant gaslighting will be revealed. She will see that I am not pining over him, quarreling with him, and that I'm genuinely a good person. Maybe she will see that he might be the real monster...
Like Father, Like Son
My STBX was quiet. More quiet than usual. Almost sulking. I don't understand his motivations anymore and what he actually cares about so I left it alone. Not my business to care and comfort anymore, right? That evening, after the children went to bed he sat alone at the dining room table. It was as if he was waiting for me to address him. I did not. Sulk, that's your issue, not mine. After he received no attention from me he made the big announcement. He claims he told everyone what happened between us, including his father. Then, oddly enough, he started to cry. Full ugly tears. I thought these were tears of embarrassment and shame. He then proceeded to tell me the conversation he had with his father was the first time his dad has actually acted like a father towards him. While that statement in itself is unsettling, it is also confusing. I'm guessing his father supported him? I know if this was my son I'd support him but also have some strong words about how he went about this and how he should probably proceed in the future. But it looks like he received 100% support. So while I understand, I don't understand. Something was wrong here..
Last week was my youngest son's birthday. I had asked my STBX if he would like to invite his father over for cake. He text him several times with no response. He learned through their conversation/confession last night that his father was in another state for work. Ok, understandable. But here is the kicker, he went away, with a new girl he is dating. Why is this strange you ask? He just asked his wife of 30 years for a divorce at the end of January. So this makes me think; is adultery a learned behavior? My FIL abandoned my STBX when he was 9 yrs old, the same age as my eldest son now. Id there a pattern here? Or is all this just a crazy coincidence?
I could not help myself, I messaged my MIL. She confirmed they were divorcing. I asked if there was any infidelity and she claims to her knowledge, no. But I know better. She said that my FIL started to withdraw from her. He started picking fights for no reason and avoided interacting with her last fall. Then in January he said he wanted a divorce so that 'he could find himself'. A man who is in his 60's, close to retirement, needs to find himself? Sounds like a cop out to me. But now that I've learned there is another woman (which my MIL does not know) I understand that this bloodline of men are truly selfish and unfit partners.
I know all the comments will tell me to tell my MIL about the infidelity on his part and I plan on doing so. I just need a little more information before I break the news to her.
Moving Trucks & Spilled Tea
It happened. FINALLY. He's gone. My basement is so empty and quiet it echos. The day he moved a box truck pulled up to my house and my children ran to the window to watch. I didn't know how to distract them as I was working. I was able to pull them away from the window with the promise of treats once they were at the table to do school work. My youngest though would not budge. After 45 minutes of loading, the truck pulled away and my STBX drove off. My youngest came away from the window looking sad. I immediately talked to him and tried to comfort him. After a few moments he asked, 'Is the truck coming back?'. I was confused. I told him that we were staying here and no one else was moving. Apparently he wasn't upset that daddy was leaving; he just wanted the truck. I'm not sure how I should feel about this. I made appointments with a child therapist for both my kids. While they seem fine now I'm not sure what the future holds for their mental state. I'm afraid this will be repressed and issues will arise down the road.
His friends have been reaching out to me. Now that they 'know' what happened I'm getting text and facebook messages asking how I am. I know in reality they are just being nosey. They may care a little but they just want me to spill the tea. Welp, I put the kettle on. I wasn't surprised to learn that my STBX wasn't completely honest with them. He failed to mention traveling during a pandemic to visit her. I guess that would make him look reckless? Selfish? Idiotic?? The wives of his friends are in shock. They considered my STBX a friend that could be trusted, a man who had it all together. Basically, they trusted my STBX would be a good influence on their husbands. Boy were they wrong.
Concerning my MIL; I have not told her. This is because I don't have any real information. What I did tell her though was to do some investigating to see if he is having an affair. This would be to her benefit as her state has adultery laws. They are still legally married and living in the same house so to my knowledge, the law applies. But she seems hesitant. I think she is just afraid to find out the truth and then she has to look at him everyday. This I understand. No person spouse should have to experience that. I know it was gut wrenching for me and perhaps many of you reading can relate as well; I just don't want to be the one to tell her. Perhaps this is because I'm still upset I had to find out on my own and my STBX was too much of a coward to come clean. Why should a cheating spouse get the thrill of cheating and be relieved of the burden of having to confess?
Part 2: https://www.reddit.com/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/rmpl4n/my_husband_is_currently_on_a_vacation_with_his/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

Today he was supposed to hold our baby while I get accupuncture in my hand that has carpal tunnel. So I pick him up because his tag are out, he goes on a rant about his court date being in March but it says February online...he ends up getting pissy and starts this silent treatment towards me the entire 40 minute ride there...im sleep deprived and am barely hanging on emotionally...hes not much of a support system with me and my son and I just needed him this one time...side note, before he started the silent treatment I lost it because he lit a cigarette in the car with my newborn baby in it, I started yelling because its like wtf are you thinking?! Do not poison my son...and if im such an inconvenience and you can't wait to smoke a cig and you need one so bad you want to poison your son vs wait to smoke a cig then get the fuck out of our lives for good ill walk around with a broken ass hand before I let your dumbass come around being a little bitch in my car around my son. Idk if that made sense probably not im so mad. Anyways the rest of the ride he gave me the silent treatment I started crying and I needed a cig so I pulled the car over and got out and sat on the ground and cried and smoked a cig...and then I got back in the car and told him like I cant deal with him being so unsupportive that I need to fix my hand and it hurts to hold our baby...and he just kept acting an ass...hes like im not doing anything and im like dude your radiating negative energy everybody knows your in a shit mood! Like this isn't about you this is about you being supportive and helping me fix my hand! Like what does he not get about this?! Oh and before he got in the car to drive there he was talking about how it was such an inconvenience to have to reschedule his entire week...like dude okay its such an inconvenience to have a broken ass hand and an unsupportive boyfriend and to be a single mom and to try and have you in the picture and its like you spend what 6 hours with us and your tired already like get real buddy...anyways I found a accupuncturist that stays open until 7pm so my mom can watch my baby and just forget my boyfriend...I ended up just dropping him off...what really set me off is he invited his grandpa to see my baby and hes not vaccinated and the new covid variant..dude I drove the fuck off! Like I was livid! Everybody saw! Im soooo pissed! Like im ready to never see him again! Hes not on the birth certificate! Ugh my hand hurts so bad typing this but like who the hell cares at this point! This dumbass pos has me so effed up...screw him I should sell this dumb ring he bought me for diapers.

Hi everyone, my surgery is scheduled for Monday 12/20. I know of other people who have been rescheduled and thought, since my surgery was soooo close that i was past the point of that happening. Well, I just got a call from the surgeon's office and my surgery MAY be rescheduled. I won't find out for sure until Sunday afternoon (18 hours before surgery).
This is causing me a huge freak out. I've planned and worked so hard for this surgery. I've done a 2 week strict liquid diet. I am a single parent and my sister is coming from out of state to help with childcare and my farm animals. I am a legal aid attorney and have arranged my court calendar and clients to have surgery now. I AM GETTING A PUPPY AT THE END OF JANUARY (and puppy can't be rescheduled, I've already paid the deposit on him and he will be a working farm dog-- I need to introduce him to my Poultry between 8-10 weeks so he can view them as friends and not prey lol).
I've seen other people who got rescheduled on here. How long was it from your original surgery date until you were rescheduled? What happened in terms of your liquid diet? How did you cope?
Final note: SCREW ALL THE ANTI-VAXXERS!!! I'm not upset at the hospital, my surgical team can't do a surgery if no beds are available... but I have very little compassion for the people spreading covid in my state with no regard to anyone else.

So my (25f) boyfriend (29m) has a 3yo daughter out of wedlock with a horrible manipulative woman. She got married to a repeat violent offender in May of 2021 and changed her last name to her new married name. Which is fine and normal. However, my boyfriend receives a letter in the mail which is a request to a name change. to change his daughters last name from (her mothers last name-dads last name) to her new husbands last name.
The virtual court date was in October. My boyfriend received the link in the mail and goes to it but the case is no longer on the docket. So he has to call the DAs office to find out the child’s mother canceled and rescheduled the court date.
Anyways, he receives a message on FB from the mother saying “the court date is tomorrow, here’s the link”.
Now I looked at Minnesota name change laws and spent lots of time writing up his reasons for not consenting, citing Minnesota law. (I was very active in debate from middle school-high school and somehow I get the notion I’m a lawyer). He was not properly notified of the court date, and he does not consent. Since he is on the child’s birth certificate and has signed an ROP, he has the right to not consent.
But the hearing happens. The judge asks if she’s present, and if her two witnesses are present. He than has her two witnesses come forward and speak on behalf of the name change. All of this without even acknowledging my boyfriends existence. Than he says “okay, I’ll sign the order. Have a great day”. Finally my boyfriend speaks up and says “your honor, I’m the bio father. Do I get a chance to defend myself and not consent?” The judge than says “oh I didn’t even know you were here. Well, do you have a custody agreement? No? Well I already signed the order. If you have any questions, you should contact a lawyer.” And my boyfriends gets off. We’re both extremely livid.
Anyways, I’m wondering if that was legal? Because my boyfriend has proof of being on the birth certificate, ROP, and he pays child support. How can the judge legally disregard him and his consent just because they don’t have a court ordered custody agreement? I would love to get someone’s advice because my boyfriend and all the fathers out here do not deserve to be invisible.

Hi all, So I received a misdemeanor citation with a requirement to appear in court about a year ago. I live in another state and had work during the original date, and due to the nature of my work I cannot ask for time off. I called the court house half a dozen times to reschedule. Every time I was told no charges had been filed. This includes a call a day before the original court date. The matter was a very minor, technical violation, and I (obviously incorrectly) assumed the prosecutor declined to waste time and resources pursuing it.
Fast forward to now, I’m going to visit family in the state for the holidays, out of an overabundance of caution I called the court to discover that I infact did have charges filed! The person I spoke too implied my name had been misspelled in the court system. I have call records, showing the number and call time, for 3 of the calls, 2 of which were after the date charges were filed.
Now I know what your probably going to say: get a lawyer. I know, but I don't think I can afford a private attorny. I plan to request a public defender, which I understand happens after I appear in court. So I’m wondering how I can navigate this before then.
Can I get the warrant canceled? How should I go about doing that? Can I/should I request a copy of my court records with the potentially misspelled name for evidence or something? Of coarse I should reschedule the court date, I assume I can just call the court clerk and do that right?
This is in California.

Hoping you can all give some advice on how to proceed.
Spouses separated. One child together. Mentally abusive situation. Husband with common narcissist behaviors. No physical violence. The wife left an irreparable situation. The husband, stubborn, refused to be amicable. Wife leaves all properties and finances to husband. Original agreement is that he is primary custodian and she gets visitation.
Flash forward to ex-wife has rebuilt her situation. Homeowner and doing well. Husband much less so. Patterned unemployment and living off of child support. Ex-wife files for change in custody to flip things around. First court date, ex-husband destroys his case. Admits to violating custody order. Admits to everything and more. Judge is visibly PO'd any time the ex-husband speaks. Ex-husband's testimony reveals the situation is even worse than we originally thought. Ex-husband is being evicted from current rental.
We go over time and need to reschedule. New date is two months from original date. Day before 2nd court date, Ex-wife's attorney has an immovable conflict and no substitute. Court schedules another 2 months out.
Just heard that ex-husband needs to be out of their current rental by the end of the year. No idea what he's planning on doing. What's exactly the path forward here?

Hello everyone, I need you guys to tell me if I've messed up. Honestly whatever the case, I'm going to apologize for snapping either way.
I'm at the beginning of my hell week, and last week I met a nice boy. He is really sweet and really came on strong. He let me know he liked me, he called me, was attentive, etc. I was surprised because he's very emotionally mature and sweet, so all of our interactions over phone and text were fun. We set it up for him to come over Thursday.
However, Wednesday, he had a psych appointment where he was receiving treatment, and it's a brand new treatment for him, so he warned me he might be a bit off. I told him I understood and I'm very open and patient and can reschedule any time I could.
Tuesday he was distant (totally understandable), then Wednesday I purposefully gave him space (that he asked for), and then Thursday I told him to rest up and let me know if he'd like to still have our date (with great emphasis on no pressure because I understand if he's exhausted from his session). My thursday was available and last night he ended up saying he won't make it and we can reschedule for Friday, today. He's much less talkative (totally understandable) and is distant.
Today comes around and he cancels on me again today. I tell him it's alright if he needs some space. He just says he needs time. And I was like okay I don't exactly know how long that is, but this seems like a long term thing and maybe if you'd like to step back from dating and expectations I don't mind if that's putting pressure on him. He again says he needs time. Not specifying how much.
So of course I start to panic. I'm the type of person who won't leave someone behind. I've always been the person who helps other people but then when I need help, everyone turns their back on me. And I want to be the person I needed for other people. I can tell he needs me to have faith in him, as he still wants to date me despite having problems. I've felt I've been coolheaded and patient and understanding. More than a lot of people would. Anyway, repeatedly I'll date someone and they will be head over heels for me. Then, theyll hit a depressive episode, I will be supportive, they will lash out at me, I get upset and then abandon me claiming I was being the one in the wrong. And it fucks me up so bad. I feel so much guilt.
So I tell him, I care about you and I really enjoy getting to know you but I feel like for myself, I'd like to just place the ball in your court and let you reach out on your own, and you can take your time with this. He got angry and told me that I can't just wait, am I just ending things right now because I'm impatient? I told him I'll wait, but I can't just keep myself available for a new relationship where we haven't met. I cancelled my plans to be available for this person, and twice I've been let down. He just kept saying, wow you couldn't wait. I keep asking you to give me space. I'm going to stop responding because this conversation is making me angry. You need to stop talking, I keep asking you for space. You couldn't even wait a day? (He just said he needs time, I didn't know he needed a day!)
Amongst this I was trying to explain how I'd like to take a step back for my own mental health cause its bringing up some bad feelings, but I'd like to still be supportive when needed. But I just ended it between us because he kept snapping at me. He got angry after that and I told him he's making me feel guilty and I had a right to set a boundary. And that the way he makes me feel guilty is how he feels guilty from things happening in his life. He told me fuck you and blocked me.
I just feel so guilty. Like did I make a stupid move? Couldn't I have just waited a day like he wanted and maybe things would've been better? I didn't know he needed a day. I should've asked him how much time he needed. And maybe I was checking on him too much? And he's going through such a tough time, I feel so fucking guilty for being selfish, but I don't even know this person, we just met last week. Why does he expect me to stick around through thick and thin, we haven't even gone on one date. I feel awful, I feel so guilty.

(20, F, CA bay area) okay to preface, i’m a total idiot. and this is going to be long asf i’m sorry. but i’m also a mentally struggling idiot juggling a few disorders and overtime at work in an attempt to move out. so the dui happened on july 6th, i had a picnic with a friend and we each had a canned margarita. after a while it was getting chilly so we called it a day after a few hours since finishing drinks and light snacks. i drive her home and feel ill due to drinking on a near empty stomach (anorexia nervosa, b/r subtype), so i make myself throw up to feel better. keep in mind at this point i felt completely fine, of course i recognize i should never had driven, nothing will excuse that, but i felt fine. now my friend usually takes her trash out with her, keep this in mind. i begin to drive home, and end up sneezing a few times. unfortunately once while breaking behind someone at a red light. ended up tapping them lightly. we pull over and begin talking. turns out he’s an out of state officer and immediately suspects me of something, most likely because of me puking prior. he looks into my car and finds my friends 3/4 finished can. i know i’m fucked. he takes my keys out the ignition (car was off anyways) and tells me to sit on the curb. i obey because obviously i’m scared. the cops arrive and start the field test. i’m completely cooperative, tell them everything about that day, did the breathalyzer and they were very chill with me. they told me they wouldn’t have cited me if the other man wasn’t an officer. got detained, taken to the station, fingerprinted and did one last breathalyzer. blew .03. he sent me home and they didn’t tow my car because i cooperated. ended up going back with friends to retrieve it. this is where it gets messy. i had just started working full time at a big retail chain whilst dealing with an extremely messy situation with my now ex roommate. my stupid dissociative ass forgot to call the DMV in 10 days. mistake 1. i stayed with my grandparents for a while, and since that’s my address on my DL, that’s where the following correction ticket gets sent. a few weeks later i get mail for a change in court date and to fix a mistake in charges. instead of an infraction dui and infraction MIP open container charge, it was now a misdemeanor MIP open container charge(with infr dui). fuckkkk. i look it up and yup jail time. shit bricks and try to find lawyer. then i got ANOTHER one for change in date. now another mistake- lost the paper and wrote down wrong day. now i have a bench warrant and am going in tomorrow to sign some paper to reschedule it- to be honest i’m not sure what’s gonna happen to me- i’m quite scared. how bleak are things looking? i’m a broke, struggling 20 year old, pretty hopeless rn. this year has been the worst yet having been 5250d earlier this year and diagnosed with a new disorder. any advice? thank you for reading my rant if you made it through- i have next to no one to talk about it to.

Me (F23-*Jay) and my best friend (F23-*Eva) moved in together in May. I needed out of a family situation ASAP and she wanted to move out of her moms place. She wanted to stay in the same city as her mom and I wanted as far away as possible. It was going pretty well, we were communicating well and had a few small problems we quickly resolved, until around July. Eva met *Alex (M27). He is of the opinion that because he's progressive, he has the only correct and moral stance on all social issues and because he has an open-mindset (to drugs), if any one disagrees with him or his ideas then they're the problem.
He's an alcoholic (something that he tells people right off the bat and is really proud of [not as in a recovered alcoholic but as in he drinks heavily, everyday, to the point it interferes with his life/job]). He also does drugs and has said many times that he doesn't have a problem because he is 'in control of it.' I have no problem with ~ouid/shrooms~ but he's into everything, from meth to LSD to coke to ketamine, and many more. Eva is also doing all of these alongside him and they'll often combine them as Alex says it is safe to do so and she believes him. This is not a once a month thing either, its pretty much been several times a week since September (they once did molly twice in less than a week, which is pretty bad). I have requested that nothing harder than 🍄 be done in the apartment, and she agreed, however she has ignored this on multiple occasions while having Alex over. She hid this from me, and it is only after she does this, that she tells me that she broke that rule.
She has gone off her depression/anxiety meds without asking medical professionals because Alex has assured her that it would be okay to do so, and that she would be fine self-medicating with other substances.
I voiced my concerns about this, about their level of drug use, and a few other things many times but she waved them away and as we have the working agreement that we're both adults and can do what we want with our lives, I didn't want to push harder than I had been. I also did this as we had started to have friction after I made my stance on Alex known back in July, which is that I didn't want to hang out with him and would like to be as far from him as possible because he freaks me out and I'm scared to be around him, sober or high. To clarify: he is allowed in the apartment, but I have to know beforehand.
I should also note that he has committed multiple crimes (most of them violent; assault and burglary, etc.) in the (ONLY) 5 months we've known him. BEST PART: he has a restraining order from his previous girlfriend that he had to go to court for breaking DURING EVA AND ALEXS' RELATIONSHIP. Eva of course took his side. When I asked, she would not tell me what for, if she even knows.
When this happened (in early July) Alex's other friends dropped him like a hot potato and his roommate kicked him out (which again, Eva sides with him and says that everyone is just vilifying Alex). He moved in with a coworker who then gave him the boot because the coworkers brother was moving back in with him (I don't know if I fully believe that story as Eva had only heard it from Alex and since then Alex and his old coworker haven't hung out together). Alex then blew up at his manager at work and quit his job out of embarrassment. After which, with Alex homeless and jobless, Eva asked her mom if he could stay with her until he got back on his feet, as I very firmly refused to let him stay with us. Seeing to how it's almost December and he's still living with Eva's mom, I'm glad I refused. To clarify: he's had 1 job since, and quit after a few days due to 'stress' and hasn't gotten anything else.
Since they've become more involved, I've noticed that Eva has become more judgmental towards my life style/makes *harmless* comments about how I'm living my life. I am a homebody and while I enjoy going out or hanging out with friends and often do, I'm more content to stay home and work on crochet projects, puzzles, or writing. I also work 3rd shift and there isn't much to do unless I stay up late or wake up early. I am not outgoing and have a hard time making friends, and although I am eager to meet people, I am slow to do so. I'm also not super into relationships, sexual or romantic, and very much don't want to date anyone. Eva doesn't understand this and despite talking it over multiple times, she constantly makes comments about how I should be on bumble or tinder and should just be trying harder. She and Alex are open sexually, and she views those who don't want a sexual connection/ have the same model of relationship as them, as close-minded or less experienced. She also takes this attitude with the fact that besides ~ouid/🍄~ I have no interest in trying drugs. They also see people who do ouid/only ouid as lesser?? (super confusing tbh)
I feel that she's making bad decisions and is going to get into trouble sooner rather than later, and I'm scared it's going to be the kind she can't come back from. She views this as her first /real/ relationship and is determined that he's the one she wants. This is making her gullible and the longer she's with him the worst she's getting. I know that she is a grown adult and needs to make her own mistakes but this also affects me, as the longer this goes on the less communication we have.
Things kind of fell apart on Halloween tho. Eva, me and another friend (Ami) had had Halloween plans for almost 2 months that all three of us constantly talked about, and were excited about as it was the first time in over a month we all got to hangout. However, Alex's friend from out of state was coming into town and she wanted to meet him. We agreed to reschedule to the next day, however she texted me the night we were supposed to hang out while me and Ami were chilling waiting for Eva, and asked to postpone another day as Alex's friend made a few detours and didn't get in until that night. I texted her back and told her that Ami had work that day and I had work that night and couldn't. I also told her it was unfair to ask us to push off plans for another night so that she could hang out with someone she didn't know and who would be in town for a few more days, after we had this planned for weeks. She denied having made solid plans with us and just asked again if I wanted to hang out the next day. I didn't want to let it ruin mine and Ami's plans, so I said we could watch tv before I went to work that night, and just stopped texting her for the rest of the night.
Since then she has been wishy-washy about making plans where as before we would go out and do things like bowl or go to the movies or go somewhere. Now when were together in the apartment, she doesn't want to talk about anything and the energy has changed, from friendly to barely cordial. I keep trying, but it seems that she isn't putting anything into the friendship. I'm the one who starts conversions, or says 'good morning', or 'how was your day', but she never inquires first, and often doesn't ask me about mine after she responds.
She's the closest person I have in the area, and she's meant a lot to me in the past almost 6 years and if we keep going this way I don't think were going to be friends after this, as she has hinted that when the lease is up she might move out, and as things stand now I don't even know how we'll get through the next 4 months.
I honestly don't know if I'm acting crazy, or blowing things out of proportion or if I'm right to be concerned for her and for our friendship.
I want to keep being friends but I've done this song and dance before, and I just don't want to be hurt at the end of this.
What should I do?

Hey everybody! So recently I got pulled over because the cop said he ran my plate and saw that I had a suspended license. At the end, the cop told me to step out the vehicle and then he gave me what looks like a ticket and said that I’m gonna have to go to court, with the date and time scheduled on the ticket. He said that this is technically an arrest but that he’s not actually going to arrest me and let me go. I looked at the date and saw that it was one that I wasn’t going to be able to make it to and asked him how I could reschedule. He pointed out the number on the ticket and told me to call tomorrow to try and get it rescheduled. It’s been a few days now and I’ve tried searching for my case/court date online and it’s nowhere to be found, I’ve called the clerk office and nobody can find any record of the “arrest” and the lady said I’m not scheduled for any court date at least in the system and the court date is supposed to be in three weeks from now, the lady told me I should call the cop myself to ask him about the ticket because she said that his department usually submits them immediately but at the same time if the cop forgot or something than I’d rather not remind him. Is it possible he never filed my arrest? What happens in these types of situations? If the county doesn’t have a record of the arrest then is it like it never happened? What do y’all think is the best course of action to take?
Sorry for the rant, just really nervous about this whole situation. Would love to hear y’all’s feedback!

CYDY press release timeline since November 21, 2019 with a stock price starting at 30 cents. IMO, there is more than Cytodyn management's desire to keep investors informed of developments at work here. For a long time is has been clear that management is using machine a gun press release tactic to maintain an illusion of progress and hype prospects in order to obtain the funding necessary to keep the train moving forward. In the recent case of the skeleton HIV submission - it appears the PR was an outright white lie to investors. Before you get all upset - I will self declare myself a perma-bull and pro-management. However, I have created this post as a public and personal cathartic service where any interested investor can see for him/herself the actions/results/promotions/prospects put out by the company since it was truly a penny stock owning a molecule that could launch it into the pharma big leagues. Note: I have not included large share sales by the 13D group during the peak of the PR hype cycles - I leave that for you to research - there are plenty of resources, especially because of the forced disclosures.
November 2019 - 8 Press Releases
Nov 21, 2019 $0.30 -> $0.31 SP Strong Preclinical Data - Potential in Treating Nonalcoholic Fatty Liver Disease (NAFLD) in Humanized Mouse Model
December 2019 2 Press Releases
Dec 18, 2019 $0.31 -> 0.42 SP Vyera licences HIV treatment from CytoDyn
Dec 23, 2019 $0.61 -> 0.61 SP CytoDyn Reports Early, But Strong Positive Clinical Responses for Two Patients, One in Metastatic Breast Cancer and One in Metastatic Triple-Negative Breast Cancer Trials
January 2020 - 3 Press Releases
Jan 13, 2020 $0.99 -> 1.11 CytoDyn Files for Breakthrough Therapy Designation with the FDA for the Use of Leronlimab for the Treatment of Metastatic Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
Jan 22, 2020 $1.05 -> 1.09 Impressive Results Continue from CytoDyn’s Clinical Trials Evaluating Two Patients with Leronlimab, One in mTNBC and One in MBC
Jan 31, 2020 $1.24 -> 1.49 CytoDyn Announces Stunning Results from Clinical Trials Evaluating mTNBC and MBC with Leronlimab and will Request an Emergency Type C Meeting with FDA to Enroll 50 Awaiting Patients with a Serious Solid Tumor Cancer Condition
February 2020 - 5 Press Releases
Feb 06, 2020 $1.47 -> 1.30 CytoDyn Files a Phase 2 Basket Trial with Leronlimab (PRO 140) for Treatment of All Solid Tumor Cancers
Feb 12, 2020 $1.02 -> 1.20 CytoDyn Signs Letter of Intent for the Joint Development and Licensing of Leronlimab in China with Longen China Group
Feb 14, 2020 $1.18 -> 1.17 CytoDyn Reports Continued Positive Clinical Data on its Phase 1b/2 mTNBC and Expanded Access Studies for MBC Ahead of Breakthrough Therapy Designation Decision From the FDA
Feb 21, 2020 CytoDyn Receives Institutional Review Board Approval to Initiate Phase 2 Basket Trial for 22 Solid Tumor Cancers
Feb 28, 2020 CytoDyn to Hold Conference Call for Updates on Filing Phase 2 Trial with FDA for Treatment of Coronavirus in U.S., Status of BLA, Breakthrough Therapy Designation, Basket Trial for 22 Solid Tumor Cancers and Licensing Opportunities in Several Countries
March 2020 - 12 Press Releases
Mar 02, 2020 $1.06 -> 1.06 CytoDyn Reports Remarkable Outcomes for Additional Cancer Patients in mTNBC Trial; Following an Overwhelming Community Response, CytoDyn Expects to Enroll More Than 20 Patients in its 22 Solid Tumor Cancer Trial in the Next 60 Days
Mar 04, 2020 CytoDyn Treats First Patient with Leronlimab in Phase 2 Trial for GvHD under Modified Trial Protocol
Mar 09, 2020 CytoDyn Files IND and Protocol for Phase 2 Clinical Trial for Treatment of Coronavirus Patients with Leronlimab (PRO 140)
Mar 16, 2020 CytoDyn Files Modified IND and Protocol for Phase 2 Clinical Trial for Treatment of Patients with Coronavirus with Leronlimab (PRO 140) and Advises Correction to Press Release Issued on March 12, 2020
Mar 18, 2020 $0.91 -> 0.95 CytoDyn to Present at Wall Street Reporter’s NEXT SUPER STOCK - Live Stream Event on March 19, 2020
Mar 19, 2020 U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) Grants Emergency IND for Two Coronavirus Patients Treated in New York with CytoDyn’s Leronlimab
Mar 23, 2020 Two Additional Coronavirus Patients Treated at Leading New York Hospital with CytoDyn’s Leronlimab, Bringing the Total to Four Patients
Mar 27, 2020 Leronlimab Used in Seven Patients with Severe COVID-19 Demonstrated Promise with Two Intubated Patients in ICU, Removed from ICU and Extubated with Reduced Pulmonary Inflammation
Mar 27, 2020 $1.06 -> 1.38 CytoDyn Files FDA-Suggested Modifications to IND and Protocol for Phase 2 Clinical Trial for COVID-19 Patients with Mild to Moderate Indications and a Second Randomized Protocol for All COVID-19 Patients in Severe Condition Will be Filed Next Week per FDA Recommendation
Mar 30, 2020 $1.38 -> 2.63 Three Additional Patients with Severe COVID-19 Treated with Leronlimab in New York Medical Center Bringing the Total to 10 Patients
Mar 31, 2021 $2.63 -> 2.64 FDA Clears CytoDyn’s Phase 2 Randomized Trial to Treat Mild-to-Moderately Ill Coronavirus Patients with Leronlimab; Enrollment to Begin Immediately
Mar 31, 2020 CytoDyn Completes Non-dilutive $15 Million Convertible Note Financing with Conversion Rate at $4.50 Per Share without Warrants
This is where the greater part of current long term bag holders bought a ticker on the bitter creek railroad called CytoDyn.
Apr 01, 2020 $2.64 -> 3.08 CytoDyn Files a Clinical Trial Protocol with the FDA to Treat Severely Ill COVID-19 Patients with Leronlimab where the Primary Endpoint is Mortality Rate at Two Weeks
Apr 02, 2020 Treatment with CytoDyn's Leronlimab Indicates Significant Trend Toward Immunological Restoration in Severely Ill COVID-19 Patients
Apr 03, 2020 CytoDyn CEO Dr. Pourhassan to Appear on Fox Business Network Friday, April 3, 2020 at 2:00 pm ET to Discuss Leronlimab Treatment of 10 Severely Ill COVID-19 Patients and Express Appreciation for a Special Hospital, Physician, and Medical Team Who Treated These Patients
Apr 03, 2020 CytoDyn Files Request with FDA for Preliminary Meeting for Breakthrough Therapy Designation for Leronlimab in the Treatment of Cancer
Apr 03, 2020 CytoDyn CEO Dr. Pourhassan Appearance on Fox Business Network Rescheduled to April 8 Same Time (11am PT); CytoDyn will Reveal Today the Name of the Hospital and the Physician who Treated 10 Patients During an Interview on Seattle-Affiliate of CBS News which Will Air Between 5-6:30 p.m. PT
Apr 06, 2020 First Two Patients Enrolled in Randomized Phase 2, COVID-19 Trial with Leronlimab; Five More Severely Ill COVID-19 Patients Treated Under Emergency IND and Two Patients Have Already Extubated
Apr 07, 2020 CytoDyn Collaborating with U.K.’s Department of Health to Provide Emergency Access to Leronlimab for Severe and Critically Ill COVID-19 Patients
Apr 07, 2020 Novant Health Initiates Phase 2 COVID-19 Trial with CytoDyn’s Leronlimab
Apr 09, 2020 Severely Ill COVID-19 Patient at Leading Southern California Medical Center Extubated Three Days After Treatment with CytoDyn’s Leronlimab; Two Moderate COVID-19 Patients Removed from External Oxygen Following One Day of Treatment with Leronlimab and Discharged from Hospital
Apr 09, 2020 Blood Samples at Day 0, 3 and 7 for Severely Ill COVID-19 Patients Clearly Indicate Leronlimab Has Significantly Reduced the Cytokine Storm in All (7) Patients and All Patients Demonstrated Immunological Benefit at Both Day 3 and Day 7
Apr 13, 2020 $2.84 -> 2.76 CytoDyn Appoints Scott A. Kelly, M.D., as Chief Medical Officer and Head of Business Development
Company expands its management team to accelerate the evaluation of leronlimab for multiple clinical indications, including COVID-19, 23 different Cancers, GvHD, NASH and MS
Apr 13, 2020 Southern California Patients Treated with Leronlimab for COVID-19 under Emergency IND: 4 Patients with Moderate Indications Removed from Oxygen; 3 Patients Discharged from Hospital; 1 Patient Scheduled for Discharge Today; 1 Patient with Severe Indications Discharged, for Total of 5 Patients Discharged
Apr 15, 2020 $2.48 -> 2.36 CytoDyn’s Phase 2 Basket Trial for 22 Solid Cancer Tumors Treats First Patient with Leronlimab; Patient Enrollment Delayed Due to COVID-19
Apr 15, 2020 First Patient Treated with Leronlimab in Phase 2b/3 Trial for COVID-19
Apr 16, 2020 CytoDyn to Present at Wall Street Reporter’s “NEXT SUPER STOCK” Livestream Event on April 17, 2020 at 12:30 pm ET / 9:30 am PT
Apr 20, 2020 CytoDyn Appoints Samir Patel, M.D., to its Board of Directors
Apr 24, 2020 $2.76 -> 3.20 CytoDyn to Hold Conference Call to Provide Updates on Completion of BLA Filing for HIV, Timeline for Potential Approval of Treatment for COVID-19 Patients, and Two Publications, Including The New England Journal of Medicine
Apr 27, 2020 $3.20 -> 3.71 CytoDyn Submits Completed Biologics License Application (BLA) to the FDA for Leronlimab as a Combination Therapy for Highly Treatment Experienced HIV Patients
Apr 27, 2020 CytoDyn Announces Vyrologix as Proprietary Name for Leronlimab as a Combination Therapy for Highly Treatment Experienced HIV Patients in the United States
Apr 29, 2020 CytoDyn’s Drs. Pourhassan and Patterson to Present Live at Wall Street Reporter’s Event to Discuss Paper Recently Submitted for Publication and Positive Results of eIND COVID-19 Patients
Apr 30, 2020 $3.25 -> 3.54 CytoDyn Reports Strong Results from eIND COVID-19 Patients Treated with Leronlimab; Majority of Patients Have Demonstrated Remarkable Recoveries
May 2020 10 Press Releases
May 01, 2020 Scott Kelly, COB, CMO sells 2,400,000 shares for $7,824,000 at $3.26 per share.
May 04, 2020 FDA Approves 54 Emergency INDs for Leronlimab Treatment of Coronavirus – CytoDyn Requests Compassionate Use from FDA for COVID-19 Patients Not Eligible for Participation in Two Ongoing Clinical Trials in U.S. – CytoDyn Targets Enrollment Completion for its 75 Patient, Phase 2 Trial by End of May
May 04, 2020 - Nadar Pouthasan CEO - sells 4.821,000 shares for $15,239,000 at $2.79 - $3.53 per share.
May 06, 2020 Manuscript Describes How CytoDyn’s Leronlimab Disrupts CCL5/RANTES-CCR5 Pathway, Thereby Restoring Immune Homeostasis, Reducing Plasma Viral Load, Reversing Hyper Immune Activation and Inflammation in Critical COVID-19 Patients
May 07, 2020 Novant Health Initiates Phase 2b/3 Trial with CytoDyn’s Leronlimab for Severely and Critically Ill COVID-19 Patients
May 08, 2020 $3.06 -> 2.87 CytoDyn Clarifies Status of Biologics License Application - Additional Data Required to Complete Application Expected to be Submitted on May 11, 2020
The BLA will not be considered completed until the Company submits to the FDA clinical datasets required to address FDA comments it received in March 2020
May 11, 2020 CytoDyn to Present at Wall Street Reporter’s NEXT SUPERSTOCK Livestream Event on May 13, 2020 at 12:30 pm ET / 9:30 am PT
May 13, 2020 CytoDyn Completed Submission of All Remaining Parts of Biologics License Application (“BLA”) on May 11, 2020 ...today confirmed on May 11, 2020, it submitted all remaining parts of the Company’s Biologics License Application (“BLA”) for leronlimab as a combination therapy with HAART for highly treatment experienced HIV patients to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (“FDA”). Pursuant to FDA guidelines, CytoDyn informed the FDA it had submitted a complete BLA for rolling review. -> Opinion = Bold Faced Disinformation
May 15, 2020 CytoDyn to Offer No-Cost Exploratory Laboratory Testing for Childhood Inflammatory Disease Associated with COVID-19
May 18, 2020 CytoDyn to Prepare a Phase 3 Protocol to Submit to the FDA for a Three-Arm Comparative and Combination Trial of Leronlimab and Remdesivir
May 19, 2020 3.05 - $3.13 CytoDyn and the Mexican National Institutes of Health Participate in a Collaborative Study of Leronlimab for the Treatment of Severe/Critical COVID-19 Population
May 22, 2020 CytoDyn to Hold Conference Call to Provide Updates on COVID-19 (Phase 2, 3 & eIND), Cancer (mTNBC, Phase 2 for 22 Solid Tumor Cancers), HIV (BLA, Monotherapy), NASH, GvHD and MS
June 2020 10 Press Releases and 3 Pump Articles
Jun 01, 2020 CytoDyn Files Request With FDA for Priority Review of BLA for First Approval (combination therapy for HIV)
Jun 01, 2020 CytoDyn to Present at Wall Street Reporter’s Livestream Event on June 2, 2020 at 12:30 pm ET / 9:30 am PT
June 4, 2020 - SeekingAlpha - CytoDyn: COVID-19 Crunch Time - June 30 will be a huge day for CytoDyn when it plans to unblind its current COVID-19 clinical trial data to that point.
Jun 08, 2020 CytoDyn Receives BLA Acknowledgment Letter From the FDA ((FDA) advised the Company, subject to its ongoing review, it could receive its “PDUFA date” on July 10, 2020.)
Jun 09, 2020 2.81 -> 2.86 Drs. Pourhassan and Kelly of CytoDyn to Hold Conference Call to Provide Updates on COVID-19 Phase 2 and 3 Trials, NASH, BLA for HIV and Manufacturing of Leronlimab in 2020-2021
Jun 11, 2020 CytoDyn Reached Its Enrollment Target for Phase 2 COVID-19 Trial for Mild to Moderate Indication – Primary End Point Announcement Is Next
Jun 11, 2020 CytoDyn Initiates Phase 2 Clinical Trial With Leronlimab for Treatment of NASH
Jun 19, 2020 - SeekingAlpha - Jannik Reiners - Cytodyn And COVID-19: The Endgame Is On
Jun 23, 2020 4.23 -> 4.55 - SeekingAlpha - Out of Ignorance - CytoDyn's COVID-19 Game Changer
Jun 25, 2020 - MicroCapDaily - Leronlimab: CytoDyn Inc (OTCMKTS:CYDY) The Bull Has Awoken
Jun 25, 2020 5.06 -> 6.20 - SeekingAlpha - Thomas Barnard - Don't Forget Cytodyn's Other Prospects
Coronavirus results to be reported in July. Anecdotal results are excellent. HIV results are excellent. BLA has been applied for. 12 ladies with triple negative breast cancer have seen their CTCs (circulating tumor cells) go to zero in 3 to 6 weeks with a once a week injection. A basket cancer trial of 22 different cancers is in the works to test the hypothesis that metastasis can be stopped in cancers expressing CCR5 receptor. Animal testing for multiple sclerosis was very favorable. NASH and GvH also being pursued. And a 400-patient trial of Alzheimer's is also in the works.
Jun 27, 2020 HappyMagazine - The CytoDyn/Leronlimab Cancer Trial – #HollysTrial - BreatCancer trial participant lauds leronlimab,
Jun 29, 2020 6.94 - 8.82 CytoDyn and NIH of Mexico Complete Memorandum of Understanding to Conduct Small Covid-19 Phase 3 Trial for Severe and Critically Ill Patients
July 2020 15 Press Releases and 3 Dump Articles
Jul 02, 2020 6.52 -> 6.02 CytoDyn Releases Mechanism of Action Animation for Leronlimab in Immuno-Oncology
Jul 03, 2020 CytoDyn Announces Execution of Exclusive Agreement with American Regent for Distribution and Supply of Leronlimab for Treatment of COVID-19 in United States
Jul 04, 2020 CytoDyn’s CEO Dr. Pourhassan to Appear on DrBeen Webcast on July 4, 2020
Jul 03, 2020 CytoDyn Announces Execution of Exclusive Agreement with American Regent for Distribution and Supply of Leronlimab for Treatment of COVID-19 in United States
Jul 06, 2020 CytoDyn Announces Execution of Exclusive Agreement with American Regent for Distribution and Supply of Leronlimab for Treatment of COVID-19 in United States
Jul 07, 2020 CytoDyn’s Leronlimab Prevents Transmission of SHIV in Macaque Study
Jul 08, 2020 Important Update for CytoDyn Special Meeting of Stockholders - Meeting Date: July 22, 2020
Jul 08, 2020 BuyersStrike - WHAT INANE NONSENSE IS CYTODYN HYPING NOW? (CYDY) ...this time, an animal study. Eighteen (18) rhesus macaques were given Cytodyn’s “wonder drug” leronlimab ...but hey, this is CYDY, where it’s all about the press releases to keep American and German retail morons excited).
Jul 09, 2020 CytoDyn to Present at Wall Street Reporter’s Livestream Event on July 9, 2020 at 1:30 pm ET / 10:30 am PT
Jul 13, 2020 $4.65 -> 3.64 Update on HIV-BLA-PDUFA: FDA requested more information to complete a substantive review. No additional trials required. CytoDyn plans to submit the requested information and will ask for a Type A meeting with the FDA per the agency’s suggestion
Jul 13, 2020 EndPointsNews - CytoDyn shares slammed as BLA filing for leronlimab in HIV hits a wall - FDA RTF letter
SeekingAlpha - FDA rejects CytoDyn's leronlimab application for HIV
FDA Refuse To File Letter: https://www.scribd.com/document/535439943/The-Infamous-Loserlimab-RTF-Letter
Opinion -> 21 pages of enormous effort required to fulfill FDA requirements for an approvable submission:
Absence of Analyses of Data Supporting the Proposed Dose
Electronic Dataset Quality Issues
Absence of Demographic Subset Analyses Needed for Substantive Review of Product Effectiveness and Safety
Device-Related Issues
Jul 15, 2020 $4.87 -> 5.23 CytoDyn Files Application with Nasdaq for Uplist Opinion - Distraction
Jul 18, 2020 CytoDyn’s CEO Dr. Pourhassan to Appear on DrBeen Webcast Tomorrow July 18, 2020
Jul 21, 2020 Impressive Results From CytoDyn’s Phase 2 Covid-19 Trial - 39% of Patients in Placebo Arm Had SAEs as Compared to Only 14% of Patients in Leronlimab Arm Had SAEs, Which Were Unrelated to Leronlimab.l
Jul 21, 2021 $6.35 -> 5.70 UPDATE - Impressive Results From CytoDyn’s Phase 2 COVID-19 Trial - 39% (11 SAEs in 28 Patients) in Placebo Arm as Compared to Only 14% (8 SAEs in 56 Patients) in Leronlimab Arm Reported Serious Adverse Events (SAEs),
Jul 27, 2020 CytoDyn to Hold Conference Call on July 30 to Provide Updates on its Two COVID-19 Trials
Jul 29, 2020 CytoDyn Completes Non-dilutive $28.5 Million Convertible Note Financing with Conversion Rate at $10.00 Per Share without Warrants
August 2020 13 Press Releases
Aug 04, 2020 5.31 -> 5.01 CytoDyn Receives Positive DSMC Recommendation for Leronlimab Phase 3 COVID-19 Trial with No Safety Concerns
Aug 07, 2020 CytoDyn Seeks UK Approval of Leronlimab for HIV and COVID-19
Aug 11, 2020 4.87 -> 4.13 CytoDyn Announces Clinically Significant Top-line Results from its Phase 2 Trial in Mild-to-Moderate COVID-19 Patients
Aug 11, 2020 CytoDyn to Hold Conference Call on August 12 to Discuss Impressive Results from its Phase 2 COVID-19 Trial
Aug 17, 2020 CytoDyn Submits its Top-line Report from its Phase 2 COVID-19 Trial to the U.S. FDA and Requests Emergency Use Approval
Aug 17, 2020 $3.72 -> 3.45 CytoDyn Will Attempt to Duplicate Berlin and London Patients’ HIV Cure by Using Leronlimab During Bone Marrow Transplant for 5 HIV Patients Who also have Cancer
Aug 19, 2020 CytoDyn Requests “Fast Track Approval” for COVID-19 Patients from U.K.’s Regulatory Agency MHRA based on its Top-line Report Showing Statistically Significant Endpoint, NEWS2 (p < 0.023) and Notable Safety Results
Aug 19, 2020 CytoDyn Announces Upcoming Retirement of Dr. David Welch from its Board of Directors
Aug 20, 2020 To Avoid Delay, the FDA Recommends CytoDyn Conduct Its Type A Meeting in Writing with FDA Response Goal Date of September 4
Aug 20, 2020 After Several Months of Providing Requested Information About Manufacturing and Safety of Leronlimab, U.K.’s MHRA Accepts CytoDyn’s Request to Enroll in its Current Phase 3 Trial for COVID-19 Patients with Severe-to-Critical Symptoms
Aug 25, 2020 CytoDyn Reaches Enrollment of 195 Patients in its Phase 3 Trial for COVID-19 Patients with Severe-to-Critical Symptoms
Aug 26, 2020 $3.82 -> 3.48 Wall Street Journal reported that CytoDyn was not being considered for Operation Warp Speed
Aug 28, 2020 CytoDyn to Hold Conference Call on September 2 to Provide Update on Timelines for Multiple Regulatory and Clinical Initiatives Including COVID-19 Potential Approvals
September 2020 6 Press Releases
Sep 01, 2020 Global Health Leaders Join CytoDyn's Scientific Advisory Board
CytoDyn's Scientific Advisory Board members include Dr. Gero Hütter, German hematologist, best known for the bone marrow transplant resulting in the cure of the first HIV patient; Dr. Hope S. Rugo, Professor, Department of Medicine (Hematology/Oncology) and Director of the Breast Oncology Clinical Trials Education Program at University of California San Francisco; Dr. Richard T. Maziarz, Professor, Medical Director of the Adult Blood and Marrow Stem Cell Transplant and Cellular Therapy Program Knight Cancer Institute at Oregon Health & Science University (OHSU); Dr. Jonah B. Sacha, Professor, VGTI-Vaccine and Gene Therapy Institute at OHSU; Dr. Mazen Noureddin, a hepatologist and Director, Cedars-Sinai Liver Transplant Program in Los Angeles; Dr. Norman B. Gaylis, nationally and internationally recognized specialist in rheumatology and autoimmune diseases; Dr. Eric D. Mininberg, Oncology Specialist, Piedmont Cancer Institute, a member of the MD Anderson Cancer Network; and Dr. Lishomwa Ndhlovu, Assistant Professor, Immunology, Department of Medicine, Division of Infectious Disease at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York.
Sep 02, 2020 $3.37 - 3.57 U.K. MHRA Grants Meeting to CytoDyn to Discuss Fast Track Approval of Leronlimab for COVID-19 Patients
Sep 10, 2020 CytoDyn to Hold Conference Call on September 16 to Provide Update on Discussions with FDA and MHRA for COVID-19 and FDA Meeting on BLA Filing
Sep 20, 2020 CytoDyn’s CEO Dr. Pourhassan and CMO Dr. Kelly to Appear on DrBeen Webcast Tuesday, September 22, 2020
Sep 23, 2020 Presentation at the Special isirv-AVG Virtual Conference on ‘Therapeutics for COVID-19
Sep 29, 2020 CytoDyn to Hold 2020 Virtual Annual Meeting of Stockholders on September 30, 2020
October 2020 8 Press Releases
Oct 12, 2020 $3.24 -> 3.21 CytoDyn Appoints Chiral Pharma to Secure Leronlimab for Local FDA Approval in Philippines
Oct 15, 2020 CytoDyn to Hold Webcast on October 20 to Discuss DSMC’s Recommendations from the Interim Analysis of the Phase 2b/3 Clinical Trial for Severe-to-Critical COVID-19 Patients
Oct 19, 2020 * * REVISED TIME * * CytoDyn to Hold Webcast on October 20 to Discuss DSMC’s Recommendations from the Interim Analysis of the Phase 2b/3 Clinical Trial for Severe-to-Critical COVID-19 Patients
Oct 20, 2020 CytoDyn Receives Positive DSMC Recommendation after Interim Analysis for Leronlimab Phase 2b/3 COVID-19 Registrational Trial
Oct 21, 2020 CytoDyn Appoints Mahboob Rahman, M.D., Ph.D., as Chief Scientific Officer
Oct 26, 2020 $2.44 -> 2.26 Leronlimab Shows Early, but Promising Clinical Responses in First Two Patients Recovering from Stroke
Oct 26, 2020 U.K. MHRA Clears CytoDyn to File its BLA for Leronlimab as One Injection per Week for Combination HIV Therapy
Oct 27, 2020 U.K. MHRA Clears CytoDyn to File its BLA for Leronlimab as One Injection per Week for Combination HIV Therapy
November 2020 7 Press Releases
Nov 02, 2020 CytoDyn to Hold Webcast on November 5 to Update Clinical and Regulatory Developments
Nov 11, 2020 $2.02 -> 2.37 CytoDyn Completes Second Non-dilutive $28.5 Million Convertible Note Financing with Conversion Rate at $10.00 Per Share Without Warrants to Help Expedite License Applications Here and Abroad and Successful COVID-19 Trials
Nov 16, 2020 Health Canada Clears CytoDyn to File its BLA for Leronlimab as One Injection per Week for Combination HIV Therapy
Nov 16, 2020 CytoDyn Announces Registration of Trademark for VYROLOGIX in Several Countries
Nov 17, 2020 CytoDyn Files Protocol with U.S. FDA for Phase 2 Clinical Trial for COVID-19 Patients with Long-Hauler Symptoms
Nov 23, 2020 $2.58 -> 2.67 CytoDyn Reaches Enrollment Target of 293 Patients for 2nd DSMC Interim Analysis of Phase 3 COVID-19 Trial and Expects to Enroll the Remaining 97 Patients in the Next Few Weeks to Complete the Trial This Year
Nov 23, 2020 CytoDyn Announces Partnership with amfAR to Accelerate HIV Cure Research
December 2020 8 Press Releases and 1 Pump Article
Dec 02, 2020 CytoDyn Announces First Patient Enrolled in Phase 2 Trial for NASH
Dec 03, 2020 CytoDyn to Hold Webcast on December 10 to Update Clinical and Regulatory Developments
Dec 09, 2020 $3.29 -> 3.42 MicroCapDaily - Powerful Rise on CytoDyn Inc (OTCMKTS: CYDY) as Vyrologix™ (leronlimab-PRO 140) Gains Traction
Investors are gearing up for the webcast with CYDY brass on Thursday at market close. Management will provide an update on recent clinical and regulatory developments regarding COVID-19 clinical trials, along with other strategic priorities. Thursday’s conference call should shed some more light on realistic time frames for a possible EUA or full approval. An up list to NASDAQ which is back on the table here could result in a massive short covering rally.
Dec 15, 2020 $3.31 -> 3.51 CytoDyn Completes Enrollment for Phase 3 Registrational Trial for 390 Patients with Severe-to-Critical COVID-19
Dec 21, 2020 - Michale Mulholland CFO - sells 589,797 shares for $3,292,000 at $5.58 per share.
Dec 21, 2020 - Michale Mulholland CFO - sells 1,105,000 shares for $5,598,000 at $4.55 - $5.58 per share.
Dec 22, 2020 - Michale Mulholland CFO - sells 711,801 shares for $3,829,000 at $5.26 - $5.49 per share.
Dec 22, 2020 $5.99 -> 5.25 FDA Resumes eIND Approvalfor Severe-to-Critical COVID-19 Patients Use of Vyrologix™ (leronlimab) Following Full Enrollment in CytoDyn’s Phase 3 Trial
Dec 24, 2020 FDA Provides Guidance for Adding an Open-Label Extension to CytoDyn’s Phase 3 Trial for Severe-to-Critical COVID-19 Patients Until Trial Data is Unblinded
Dec 30, 2020 CytoDyn to Hold Webcast on January 6 to Provide Timelines for Clinical and Regulatory Developments, Submission of 4 HIV BLAs and EUA Requests for COVID in Different Countries
Dec 30, 2020 FDA Accepts Protocol for Adding an Open-Label Extension to CytoDyn’s Phase 3 Trial for Severe-to-Critical COVID-19 Patients
Dec 31, 2020 CytoDyn Announces Research on Critically Ill COVID-19 Patients Published in Journal of Translational Autoimmunity
*** 118 Press Releases in 2020 ***
January 2021 2 Press Releases
Jan 04, 2021 $5.43 -> 5.99 REMINDER: CytoDyn to Hold Webcast on January 6 to Provide Timelines for Clinical and Regulatory Developments, Submission of 4 HIV BLAs and EUA Requests for COVID in Different Countries
Jan 29, 2021 $5.10 -> 5.58 Chiral Pharma Corp. to Assist Philippine Physicians Apply for Compassionate Special Permit (CSP) to Access CytoDyn’s Leronlimab for COVID-19 Patients, as Philippines FDA Reviews Each Application for Approval to Sell Leronlimab for CSP Use
NOTICE THE 3 WEEK GAP IN COMMUNICATION HERE -> WARNING SIGN
February 2021 1 Press Release
Feb 22, 2021 CytoDyn in Discussions with U.S. FDA, MHRA and Health Canada After Unblinding its CD12 Trial Data for Severe-to-Critically Ill COVID-19 Patients
March 2021 13 Press Releases
Mar 03, 2021 CytoDyn Files Form S-3 to Replace Expiring Shelf Registration Statement
Mar 05, 2021 $4.03 -> 4.03 CytoDyn’s Phase 3 Trial Demonstrates Safety, a 24% Reduction in Mortality and Faster Hospital Discharge for Mechanically Ventilated Critically Ill COVID-19 Patients Treated with Leronlimab
Mar 05, 2021 CytoDyn to Hold Webcast on March 8 to Provide Overview of CD12 Trial Data and Regulatory Path Forward with the U.S., U.K., Canada, Philippines and Brazil
Mar 06, 2021 $4.03 -> 2.93 CytoDyn to File Accelerated Rolling Review with MHRA and Interim Order (IO) with Health Canada for COVID-19
Mar 08, 2021 CytoDyn’s Phase 3 Trial Demonstrates Safety, a 24% Reduction in Mortality and Faster Hospital Discharge for Mechanically Ventilated Critically Ill COVID-19 Patients Treated with Leronlimab
Mar 08, 2021 CytoDyn to File Accelerated Rolling Review with MHRA and Interim Order (IO) with Health Canada for COVID-19
Mar 08, 2021 CytoDyn to Release CD12 Trial Detailed Results via Form 8-K After Investment Community Webcast, Monday, March 8
Mar 11, 2021 $2.29 -> 2.11 CytoDyn’s Long-Haulers COVID-19 Trial Enrolled 20 Patients Within 10 Days; Enrollment to be Completed This Month
Mar 16, 2021 CytoDyn Appoints Christopher Recknor, M.D., as Chief Operating Officer
Mar 18, 2021 CytoDyn to Hold Webcast on March 22 to Provide an Update on COVID-19 Initiatives and Expected Regulatory Filings with the U.S., U.K., Canada, Philippines and Brazil
Mar 29, 2021 $2.07 -> 2.82 The Philippines FDA Approves the Use of Leronlimab to Treat a COVID-19 Patient
Mar 29, 2021 Remarkable Turnaround Following Leronlimab Treatment in Critically Ill COVID-19 Patient After 84 days on ECMO; Case Study Published in Journal of Translational Autoimmunity
---HERE COMES THE SUBGROUP ANALYSIS
Mar 30, 2021 CytoDyn’s Leronlimab Decreased Mortality at 14 Days by 82% With Statistically Significant P-Value of 0.0233 Amongst Critically Ill COVID-19 Patients
April 2021 13 Press Releases
Apr 01, 2021 $2.68 -> 3.21 CytoDyn Files New Protocol with U.S. FDA for 4 Doses of Leronlimab for Critically Ill COVID-19 Patients with the Objective to Duplicate or Surpass 82% Survival Benefit with P-Value of 0.0233 Originally Achieved from Two Weeks of Treatment in CD12 Trial With 2 Doses
Apr 01, 2021 CytoDyn to Hold Webcast on April 6 to Provide a Full Update on Its Activities
Apr 05, 2021 $3.21 -> 3.99 First Compassionate Special Permit (CSP) Patient in Philippines Improved Significantly 35 hours After First Injection of Leronlimab and Released 3 Days Later
Apr 05, 2021 CytoDyn Completes $28.5 Million Convertible Note Financing with Conversion Rate at $10.00 Per Share Without Warrants to Accelerate Manufacturing of Leronlimab Inventory
Apr 05, 2021 CytoDyn Reschedules Webcast from April 6 to April 7
Apr 07, 2021 CytoDyn Signs Exclusive Supply and Distribution Agreement with Biomm S.A. in Brazil for COVID-19 and All Other Leronlimab Indications
Apr 07, 2021 CytoDyn Providing Leronlimab to a Philippine Hospital for 28 More COVID-19 Patients under Compassionate Special Permit (CSP)
Apr 08, 2021 CytoDyn’s COVID-19 Long-Hauler’s Trial Closed as Enrollment Exceeds Goals
Apr 15, 2021 $2.84 -> 3.07 CytoDyn Executes Exclusive Supply and Distribution Agreement with Chiral Pharma Corporation to Provide Up to 200,000 vials of Leronlimab to Philippines
Apr 19, 2021 Former President of the Philippines, Joseph Estrada, Among the Many COVID-19 Patients Receiving Leronlimab Under CSP in the Philippines
Apr 19, 2021 $3.29 -> 3.51 CytoDyn Submits First and Most Crucial Section (CMC) of Interim Order Application to Health Canada for COVID-19 Under Rolling Review
Apr 22, 2021 CytoDyn Completes $28.5 Million Convertible Note Financing with Conversion Rate at $10.00 Per Share Without Warrants
Apr 27, 2021 CytoDyn’s Chief Medical Officer Dr. Scott Kelly to Present at Triple Negative Breast Cancer Drug Development Digital Summit 2021 on April 28
May 03, 2021 CytoDyn HIV Indication Update: Leronlimab HIV Extension Arm Nearing 7 Years with Continued Excellent Safety Results
May 03, 2021 Data from 10 Patients with Stage Four Cancer Treated with Leronlimab for Nearly One Year Will Serve as Basis for Pre-Breakthrough Therapy Designation Meeting with FDA
May 03, 2021 CytoDyn to Hold Webcast on May 5 to Provide Update on Multiple Initiatives
May 05, 2021 $2.93 -> 2.78 CytoDyn Reaches Agreement with Albert Einstein Israelite Hospital in Brazil to Conduct Two COVID-19 Trials - a Small Trial in Critically Ill and a Large Trial in Severe Populations
May 07, 2021 CytoDyn’s Leronlimab Featured on OneNews in Philippines on May 9
May 13, 2021 CytoDyn Signs Distribution Agreement with Macleods Pharmaceuticals Ltd. to Pursue EUA and Compassionate Use Access to Leronlimab in India
May 17, 2021 $2.81 -> 2.04 FDA Statement on Leronlimab
CytoDyn has publicly communicated differences in small subgroups from the CD12 trial (e.g., a sub-group analysis of 62 of the 394 patients studied) suggesting that the data demonstrated a mortality benefit in certain patients who had received leronlimab.
Subgroup analyses have well-established limitations, especially in the context of a clinical trial that has failed to show a benefit in the overall study population.
May 17, 2021 CytoDyn to Hold Webcast on May 18 to Discuss FDA’s Statement on Leronlimab
May 18, 2021 CytoDyn to Submit Newly Completed Topline Report of CD12 Trial Results to Regulatory Agencies in Multiple Countries including India and Philippines
May 20, 2021 Antonio Migliarese Promoted to Chief Financial Officer of CytoDyn
May 27, 2021 Biomm S.A. Announces Plans to Submit Authorization to Conduct Phase 3 Clinical Studies of Leronlimab with ANVISA in Brazil in the Next Few Days
June 2021 5 Press Releases
Jun 01, 2021 $1.91 -> 2.07 CytoDyn Receives First Purchase Order from Chiral Pharma Corporation for Use of Leronlimab Under CSP for COVID-19 Patients in the Philippines
Jun 01, 2021 CytoDyn and Philippine Airlines Work Together to Provide Filipinos with the Best Possible Treatment Options In the Fight Against Covid-19
Jun 07, 2021 Nature Communications Publishes Study of CytoDyn’s Leronlimab Preventing HIV Infection in Primates
Jun 16, 2021 $1.78 -> 1.68 CytoDyn to Hold Webcast on June 21 to Discuss Unblinded Data from COVID-19 Long-Haulers Trial and Other Developments
Jun 21, 2021 CytoDyn Inc. Announces Positive Preliminary Results of Unblinded Data from Long-Haulers Trial Showing Greater Improvement in Leronlimab Group over Placebo in 18 of 24 Symptoms
July 2021 - 5 Press Releases
Jul 01, 2021 CytoDyn Submits Dose Justification Report to FDA to Begin Overcoming Deficiencies in its BLA for HIV
Jul 06, 2021 $1.70 -> 1.68 CytoDyn Granted a Significant Patent by USPTO for Methods of Treating Coronavirus Infection with Leronlimab
Jul 12, 2021 $1.56 - 1.49 CytoDyn’s Trial for Metastatic Triple-Negative Breast Cancer Demonstrates Safety with 350 mg, 525 mg and 700 mg Dosages; Officially Advances to Phase 2 from Phase 1b
Jul 19, 2021 $1.42 -> 1.65 CytoDyn Announces Preliminary Results from 30 mTNBC Patients Treated with Leronlimab. Decreases in CAMLs after 4 Doses of Leronlimab were Identified in Over 70% of Patients and were Associated with a 450% Significant Increase in Overall Survival at 12-Month Analysis
Jul 19, 2021 CytoDyn to Hold Webcast on July 22 to Discuss Results from Cancer Trials, HIV BLA Status, NASH, and COVID-19 Trials
August 2021 - 8 Press Releases
Aug 02, 2021 $1.69 -> 1.54 CytoDyn Announces That Director Nominations by Rosenbaum/Patterson Activist Group Are Invalid
Aug 03, 2021 CytoDyn Receives Clearance from Brazil’s ANVISA to Commence Phase 3 Trial for Severe COVID-19 Patients
Aug 05, 2021 CytoDyn Files Lawsuit Against Rosenbaum/Patterson Activist Group for Misleading Shareholders and Waging an Unlawful Proxy Contest
Aug 13, 2021 CytoDyn Receives FDA Guidance for its HIV BLA Dose Justification Report
Aug 19, 2021 $1.29 -> 1.36 CytoDyn Provides Update on Rosenbaum/Patterson Group Litigation
Aug 25, 2021 CytoDyn’s Final mTNBC Report Indicates as Much as 980% Increase in 12-Month Overall Survival and Up to 660% in 12-Month Modified Progression Free Survival
Aug 25, 2021 CytoDyn Urges Shareholders to Ignore Proxy Cards from Rosenbaum/Patterson Group
Aug 26, 2021 CytoDyn Appoints Seenu Srinivasan, Ph.D. as Executive Director of CMC Regulatory Affairs
September 2021 - 9 Press Releases
Sep 02, 2021 CytoDyn Highlights Court Ordering Rosenbaum/Patterson Group to Comply With the Federal Securities Laws
Sep 02, 2021 CytoDyn to Hold Webcast on September 8 to Discuss Results from mTNBC Trials, HIV BLA Status, and Updates on COVID-19 and NASH Trials
Sep 09, 2021 $1.28 -> 1.27 CytoDyn Announces Treatment of the First Patient in its Pivotal Phase 3 COVID-19 Trial in Brazil for Patients with Severe Symptoms
---NEW LOWS REACHED---
Sep 13, 2021 $1.38 -> 1.69 CytoDyn to Present at Emerging Growth Conference on September 15 Follow by Live Q/A
Sep 20, 2021 CytoDyn Announces Resolution of Federal Litigation with Rosenbaum/Patterson Activist Group
Sep 21, 2021 $2.27 -> 2.23 CytoDyn’s Chairman, CMO, and Head of Business Development Dr. Scott A. Kelly to Present at the World Antiviral Congress 2021
Sep 22, 2021 CytoDyn Receives Clearance from Brazil’s FDA (ANVISA) to Commence a Pivotal Phase 3 Trial in Critically Ill COVID-19 Patients with IV Administration of Four Doses (700mg/week)
Sep 27, 2021 CytoDyn to Present at Emerging Growth Conference on September 29 Followed by Live Q/A
Sep 29, 2021 CytoDyn Comments on Rosenbaum/Patterson Activist Group “Plan”
October 2021 - 12 Press Releases
Oct 07, 2021 CytoDyn Announces Legal Actions Against its Former CRO, Amarex Clinical Research
Oct 07, 2021 CytoDyn Names Chris Recknor, M.D. Senior Executive VP of Clinical Operations to Initiate Two New Clinical Trials for Stroke and Alzheimer’s, While Nitya Ray, Ph.D. is Named CytoDyn’s New COO to Lead CMC and Regulatory Operations Specifically the BLA for HIV
Oct 07, 2021 $1.81 -> 1.75 CytoDyn Announces Study to Evaluate Potential Synergistic Effects of Leronlimab with Immune Checkpoint Blockade (ICB)
Oct 07, 2021 CytoDyn to Present at Emerging Growth Conference on October 13 Followed by Live Q/A
Oct 14, 2021 Delaware Court Agrees with CytoDyn that Activist Group’s Nominations are Invalid
Oct 18, 2021 CytoDyn Alerts Shareholders to Vote on Company’s Proxy Card Ahead of October 28th Annual Meeting
Oct 20, 2021 $1.42 -> 1.51 CytoDyn Announces Delaware Court Has Denied Activist Group’s Motion to Prevent Annual Meeting from Taking Place
Oct 21, 2021 CytoDyn to Hold Webcast and Live Q/A on October 26
Oct 25, 2021 CytoDyn Announces Treatment of First Patient in Pivotal Phase 3 Trial for Critically Ill COVID-19 Patients in Brazil
Oct 27, 2021 $1.39 -> 1.29 BuyersStrike - WHAT DOCUMENTS DID CYTODYN NEVER WANT YOU TO SEE? (CYDY)...For a start, how about this insane April 14, 2020, email from the the NaDDiR* to Amarex’s Kush Dhody, in which The NaDDiR, obsessed with the stock price and message board criticism, instructs his Krew to knowingly file an incomplete BLA:
Oct 28, 2021 CytoDyn Announces FDA Accepts Revised Rolling Review Timeline for Resubmission of its BLA
Oct 28, 2021 $1.29 -> 1.27 CytoDyn Inc. Announces Adjournment of Annual Meeting of Shareholders to November 24, 2021 Due to Lack of Quorum
---NEW LOWS REACHED AGAIN---
Jan-Oct 2021 80 Press Releases to date

Two years ago, I spent around $500 to reserve “VIP” access to the Superfan Festival in Scranton along with a private “Dundee Awards” dinner event.
After a year of what if’s and how comes they finally had the event.
The original event was slated to be in the steamtown mall with live entertainment, food, drink, actor appearances, special VIP events, professional attractions…. What we received was the equivalent to an Office themed Fyre Festival.
The event was held in a run down drive in movie theater parking lot. There was a snack bar inside what I can only describe as a rapeshack, which also housed the 3 actors that showed up to the festival for their $10-20 photos or autographs.
On the roof of the rapeshack was a “stage” in the loosest form of the word. 2 10x10 pop up canopies with some budget PA equipment.
In front of previously discussed rapeshack was a “VIP seating area” with around 1000 seats. Sounds impressive. Except for maybe 150 people max were there at any given time, and about 20 of them were using the VIP seating area.
I’ll describe our Saturday night from arrival to departure. (Mind you, this is a 3 day “festival” that I payed $500 for. I was already skeptical, so I decided to go just on Saturday.)
We arrive at what appears to be an abandoned drive-in theater, the nice woman at the gate informs us it’s $3 for parking. Ok not a big deal.
We were ushered to the parking areas where there’s maybe 30 cars which is odd because we arrived around 1230 and the event supposedly opened around 10am.
We approach what we think is a ticket booth with crudely handwritten signs strewn about it to check in. I no longer have any emails or tickets since they were purchased so long ago, so I imform the gentleman that i purchased directly from the festival organizer and that they said it shouldn’t be a problem. The man replied with “ok as long as you talked to someone go ahead” and gave us our wristbands and “vip swag”, which was like a shitty 9x11 poster, and sent us on our way.
There seemed to be absolutely nothing going on in this vacant parking lot, so we located the vendors area. The vendor tent housed about 7 tchotchke merchants, a goat, and a turtle. (Not exaggerating)
We left the area and went to the main rapeshack building to look for food and drinks. Long story short, that was a bust. It was your basic drive in concessions, no beverages.
One of the actor QAs had just begun with Heday from the warehouse, so we sit in our “vip area” to listen. We barely were able to hear or make out what he was saying, and it was about 15 minutes of the festival organizer interrupting with his own questions.
When that was wrapping up they instructed us that there would be a “yankee swap” event at the side stage (supposed to be hay place. More like hay hell.) so we moved on over to the area.
Now it seemed like maybe 3/4 of the patrons had actual brought a gift to participate in the swap. We though oh finally this could actually be fun and interesting. WELL. Instead of letting the event be fun or interesting, the organizer decided that there wasn’t enough time and that everyone would have to break up into private groups of 10 and have their own swap.
It was around this time that we noticed what could only be described as a crudely prepared graveyard made out of dollar store Halloween decorations with various dead characters names written on them. I can begin to describe how stupid this looked. We didn’t even notice it was done on purpose at first.
So when that lasted all of about 10 minutes, they were done, and we had already moved on. The next event was Office Trivia in about 45 minutes. So we sat in the empty VIP area for a minute until they had their QA with Elizabeth the stripper.
The actress was pleasant and fun, but they had her mic levels turned up to 11 for some reason and it was about 4x as loud as the guy asking his very vanilla and bland questions. So 15 minutes of this goes by and we decide to head over to the “Dallas” games tent so get a seat for the Office Trivia starting at 2pm.
The Office Trivia was probably the highlight of our day. No surprise here, but it wasn’t hosted by the festival organizer. Instead it was hosted by a guy who I believe said he was from local radio and had his own YouTube channel and professional wrestling. Basically all 100 people on the grounds at this point were in attendance for trivia. Which sounds great… BUT they had no mic/amplification for the host making it VERY hard to hear the questions. Even a trivia host at a dive bar gets a mic. Come on now it’s basic 101. Not only that, but they had Troy - Ryan’s hobbit friend - scheduled to do his QA at the same time that trivia was happening. Weird overlap? So they postponed Troy seeing as no one was going to be there to listen anyway.
After the trivia - Stanley was scheduled to do his QA at 3pm, Troy did his at that time seeing as he had to be pushed back.
After sitting through Troys very awkward QA they made an announcement for the costume contest at the side stage, but made no mention of when Stanley’s QA would begin.
We just happened to notice a “QA schedule” crudely written in pen leaning up against the previously mentioned rapeshack that had new information scribbled onto it next to Stanley’s name. “Has not arrived”
At this point we decide to leave, we say hey let’s go to the steamtown mall. Do some shopping. That’ll be fun. The steamtown mall was basically the rapedungeon to the rapeshack. 80% of the stores were vacant. The food court was empty. About 5 people in the mall. Really confusing since the festival was promoting that people should visit there.
We leave yet again. Now in search of food. This part of the story isn’t entirely relevant, but we ended up at a Buffalo Wild Wings that smelled like feet and had the driest black bean burger that would make Moses pass you a bottle of water after 40 years in the desert.
So our next portion of the day was the “Dundee awards”. Doors at 630 show at 7.
We stopped at a liquor store to pregame, since up to this point it had been a dry festival, and we needed to have some kind of fun at this point, then we arrive at what appears to be an abandoned Days Inn hotel at around 6:20.
We notice that no one has entered the building, and I don’t know where all these people came from but there were about 200 people in line waiting to get in.
After standing in line with no communication, they opened the doors at 7.
THERE WAS A BAR! So I dash over and order some drinks, reasonably priced, they had a bar menu for food but we skipped. About 10 minutes later I turn around to look at the bar and the 200 people that were waiting in line to get in are now all waiting in line for bar service.
Some volunteers brought out slips to fill out with our names, and what Dundee Award we would like to receive. The host actually went as far as to make a joke about how they never even ended up giving them to him.
The show starts what I would guess is around 8pm at this point…. There was a couple that played songs.
There was no mixer, so the acoustic guitar could not be plugged in and was mic’d using a vocal mic. Both the vocals and the instrument were so poorly balanced from being plugged directly into the PA speakers that were just haphazardly sat on the floor that the performance was barely audible.
After about 20 minutes of that, our host for the Dundee Awards came out and introduced himself. He actually turned out to be a rather funny profession comedian/magician who did his best to incorporate those things into the act to keep it interesting. (Mind you when he wasn’t being interrupted over and over again by the festival organizer with his own “look at me” bullshit) The poor guys mic was nothing but inaudible garbled feedback and you could barely make out what he was saying. After giving out maybe 20 awards he said the show was ending, which was met with a lot of vocal displeasure seeing as how 200 people payed to receive a Dundee Award and weren’t receiving one. Not only that, but people were now yelling that they never even received the food they ordered, and were also not being offered refunds.
Which brings us to the close and probably focal point of my story. No refunds.
At the original cancellation of the show, they informed those that had preordered or prepurchased tickets that there were no refunds being offered, but that they would honor the purchased at the rescheduled date.
Stanley never showed up, to the festival or to his private events ranging from $80-250 per person, to which refunds were originally being denied, but I think they’re working on an individual basis now.
All in all, this was billed as a “festival” and it was anything but. “Meet and greet” more accurately describes the experience. There was nothing professional about the day, and when you’re charging people premium prices for an experience, you need to deliver a professional product.
Remember…. I spent $500 for a couple quick QAs, a Yankee swap I didn’t get to see or participate in, 40 minutes of trivia, and a half baked mock awards show. (VIP my ass)
I can’t imagine what anyone was supposed to do with themselves across the entire 3 days, not to mention there were people that flew across the country for this!
The icing on the cake was the festival organizer claiming that they didn’t make any money. It’s by the fans for the fans. They had no employees (all volunteers) and spent the bare minimum on location/amenities.
So where did all this money that everyone payed you go if you didn’t make any money??
Scam.

I’m so upset right now and I just need some support..I work in child welfare
I was switched to a new supervisor in June and since then I cry at least once a month because of my conversations with her. She tends to make me feel like she’s siding with the clients and doesn’t believe me when I tell her clients are manipulating, exaggerating, etc. I’ve never felt like I’ve had to “go off” on a supervisor but I have been vocal to this supervisor on a couple of occasion. Nothing that is inappropriate or unprofessional, just strong tone (I think assertive tone, but I worry what others think). In august she send me an email telling me my visits needed to be completed before my vacation next time and if I’m not able to complete them I needed to make arrangements for other workers to complete them. Before my vacation, I made arrangements for coworkers to see a couple of my kids during working hours, and then notified of supervisor of a few others that needed a 2nd visit that month before I left. That month I also had crises in my caseload and 5 reports due. I responded to her email in august stating she expected too much, I notified her of which visits needed to be completed still (she claimed the email was confusing but it wasn’t), and that I was a hard worker and deserved respect. She responded that she didn’t understand where this was coming from and she wanted to talk about it. We never talked about it.
Last month I had a medical issue that took me off work for one week. I have a cyst that caused me 10/10 pain for two days. I had to go to the ER to get some pain relief and spent the week recovering. I may have to get the cyst removed. I’ve only called out sick one other time and it was because of the same 10/10 pain but it went away after an hour instead of two days so I was able to go back to work the next day.
So my supervisor just called me to tell me how my out of state youth called her Friday upset because I cancelled my visit with her, that I do this a lot and she wanted a new social worker. I told the kid I was experiencing a personal emergency and that I missed my flight. Apparently the kid and two of her relatives say I cancel a lot and don’t follow through. I told my supervisor I don’t cancel all the time and on this case it’s only happened twice where I ask to reschedule or have to cancel. Sometimes I do a passive scheduling, “I might be able to make it today or tomorrow” and then don’t end up being able to meet. My supervisor didn’t believe me and said she’s gotten this complaint a lot since June, and I asked is it just this case or others. She didn’t really specify other cases and basically told me to be more reliable and explain to people why I have to cancel if I do. I’m probably taking this too personal but I’m pretty upset. Literally crying because I don’t like that this is said about me. And then my boss was like are you going to make it out this month for your scheduled visit out of state. And I was like, if nothing unexpected comes up then yes. Like what did she expect me to say? What was her reason for asking me like that? She also said the scheduler was upset because the flight had to be cancelled last minute. She was like you need to notify them earlier. And I was like ok? Like I was sick and had a doctors note that was sent to the on duty supervisor and her and then I sent it to their supervisor. She also was like I asked you last week for a medical note saying you can come back to work. I told her my doctor provided one already saying to come back on the 30th. I called my doctor and they were like.. we already gave you a note. I forgot to follow up this wee with my supervisor. I told her about my doctor and my supervisor specified today it needs to say I’m cleared for work without any restrictions. And talked about how I said I was in the ER and talked about liabilities. If this is the concern, shouldn’t she have me off until I get this medical clearance she’s asking for?
I don’t remember my old supervisor making me feel this terrible all the time. My new supervisor has shown time and time again that she’s also just not supportive with my cases and is very hands off. Often times when I ask her questions she leaves me with more questions then answers. She also has lied to her supervisor once (that I know of, because it was in email) about directions she gave me but lied and said she didn’t tell me to handle the case that way. Maybe she forgot and believes what she told her supervisor, but since then I really don’t trust her. She’s done other things, like deny a day off because I “might be on call for court”. She’s also really late on getting reports back to me and then tells me it’s my fault the reports are so late to court because I need to give them to her sooner. Yet she does not provide dates she wants my reports in to her. But also, sometimes it’s difficult to get things done early.
I just don’t know if I’m taking things way too personal or if I need to be more accountable for the way I work. I just feel terrible because I try so hard with this job. I just need reassurance that I’m not so terrible. I try to think of my other cases tht have told me I have done a lot for them but it’s not helping me right now.
I’m just upset.

I cannot imagine how this d-bag could end up in deeper shit. The true-crime re-tellings of this family's idiot patriarch and his children will be never-ending. I wonder if Alex Murdaugh will rot in prison for the next 20 years (providing he does not commit suicide before trial or during incarceration) asking himself if he had just disciplined his shitty kid (Paul Murdaugh) a little, that maybe his entire family would not be ruined.
As far as I can track, here is a complete(ish) timeline of relevant events which totally fucked the rich, powerful and apparently murderously sinister Murdaugh family:
2012 - 2013: Alex Murdaugh represents Curtis Edward Smith in a personal injury lawsuit and a later speeding case. Smith is allegedly a drug dealer who likely starts supplying Alex Murdaugh with oxycodone at this time.
7/15/2015: The body of Stephen Smith is found in the middle of Sandy Run Road in Hampton County, SC. He suffered 'blunt force trauma' to the head and shoulder. Pathologist Dr. Erin Presnell ruled that Stephen was killed in a hit-and-run crash, although it is unusual for a pathologist to make such a determination without supporting evidence (usually, the cause of death would simply be 'blunt force trauma'). The local county coroner states he doesn't believe Stephen was killed in a hit-and-run crash with a vehicle because no tire marks or glass / debris from a vehicle was found at the scene, despite multiple searches. Also, Stephen's 'loosely tied' shoes remained on his feet, despite being hit by a vehicle traveling at a high rate of speed. Stephen's injuries were confined to his upper body, leading the South Carolina Highway Patrol to incredulously conclude that he was hit in the head by the left sideview mirror of a passing big-rig truck while walking in the middle of the road at night (a passenger car mirror would have been too close to the ground to strike his head while he was standing). The two Murdaugh boys, Paul and 'Buster,' are considered persons of interest but are never questioned or arrested. Their names appear nine times in investigating documents. Buster Murdaugh was in Stephen's graduating high school class, and the two reportedly knew each other. Rumors claim they were 'intimately involved.' Stephen Smith was publicly 'out' as a gay man in a small South Carolina community, a possible reason why his death was not thoroughly investigated by police.
2/16/2018: The Murdaugh family housekeepenanny of 25 years, Gloria Satterfield, falls down a flight of stairs in the Murdaugh estate and dies. No inquiry into her death is conducted, no autopsy performed, the death was not even reported to the coroner in a 'timely manner.' Paul Murdaugh is allegedly at home during the incident. Her death certificate lists 'natural causes,' which is completely inconsistent with an accidental fall. Somehow her death is slipped completely 'under the radar' of the coroner, and she is buried under suspicious circumstances with no investigation. Her two children are referred (by Alex Murdaugh) to a lawyer friend of Alex Murdaugh, Cory Fleming, who helps them file a contrived 'wrongful death' lawsuit against Alex Murdaugh with the intent of an insurance settlement payout being given to the children to 'make them whole.' Alex Murdaugh settles the lawsuit with a $500,000 payout from his home's insurance company, Lloyd's of London. The two Satterfield children never receive their promised payment from the lawsuit settlement and eventually sue Alex Murdaugh. The money was likely used long ago by Alex Murdaugh to pay for his (now) admitted drug habit.
2/14/2019: Paul Murdaugh - who is under the legal drinking age at the time - purchases beer from a convenience store using his older brother Buster's ID, gets drunk with five friends, then takes his dad's speedboat down Archer's Creek in SC to go to a party. At the party, several people witness the teens acting drunk and consuming alcohol. The teens leave the party in the boat, then buy more drinks at a local bar. Later, Paul Murdaugh is operating the boat at night at a high rate of speed and crashes it into the Archer's Creek Bridge, throwing Mallory Beach overboard. Beach strikes her head and is knocked unconscious, suffering massive blunt force trauma. Her body is found 7 days later. The night of the crash, local law enforcement officers don't give anyone on the boat field sobriety tests (even though the kids appear drunk and empty beer bottles are scattered in the boat) and have 'trouble determining' who was driving at the time, disregarding people on the boat who claim Paul was at the wheel.
Before the crash, Paul may have been channeling his drunk alter-ego 'Timmy,' something he is known to do often. (An underage kid being drunk often enough to create an alter ego is a huge sign of extremely bad parenting, IMO). 'Timmy' is likely based on a South Park cartoon character who is mentally disabled, confined to a wheelchair and speaks in short phrases. At the hospital, Paul (or Timmy) is administered a blood alcohol test and registers a .286, more than three times the legal limit to operate a boat or car. Hospital staff claim 'Timmy' was running around in his boxer shorts and yelling belligerently (stripping down to his underwear is also something drunk Paul as 'Timmy' is known for). Alex Murdaugh arrives at the hospital, tells his son Paul to 'keep his mouth shut' and attempts to enter the hospital rooms of the other boat crash survivors, ostensibly to bribe/threaten/cajole them into not incriminating Paul. Paul is not arrested or charged, in spite of the fact that the legal limit for alcohol in the blood of a person under 21 is ZERO. Several officers involved with the initial investigation of the boating crash are later found to have personal ties to the Murdaugh family. The initial investigation handled by the South Carolina Department of Natural Resources (because it happened on a river) is riddled with problems and rumors of a cover-up. The Beaufort Count Sheriff's department also participates in the investigation.
3/21/2019: Mallory Beach's family files a wrongful death lawsuit against Alex Murdaugh, Randolph Murdaugh III, Buster Murdaugh, Parker's gas station and 'Luther's Rare and Well Done' restaurant. The lawsuit claims Parker's is a known spot for underage teens to buy alcohol, with the staff rarely checking IDs and that Luther's sold alcohol to two clearly intoxicated minors the night of the crash. Buster and Alex are accused of knowingly allowing underaged Paul to use Buster's ID to buy alcohol, and Randolph is accused of knowingly letting underaged teens drink on his property during parties, referred to as 'The Island.'
4/18/2019: More than 2 months after the deadly alcohol-induced boating crash, Paul Murdaugh is indicted on one charge of boating under the influence causing death and two counts of boating under the influence causing great bodily injury. There is no explanation as to why a straightforward DUI boating death case took two months to file charges.
5/6/2019: Paul Murdaugh pleads not guilty to all charges.
5/2020: The Murdaughs sell their family home at 515 Holly St E in Hampton, SC, moving into their hunting lodge in Moselle. According to Zillow, the relatively modest home only nets $375,000 at the time. This amount is nothing compared to the millions Alex Murdaugh is alleged to have embezzled from his family's lawfirm, and would likely barely cover Paul Murdaugh's attorney fees.
6/7/2021: Alex Murdaugh 'finds' the bodies of his son, Paul Murdaugh and his wife, Maggie, at their hunting lodge in Islandton, SC. Paul was shot twice with a shotgun (chest and head), Maggie is shot with a semi-automatic rifle. Alex Murdaugh is said to have an 'ironclad alibi' for the murders (likely via his own mother), but is later named a 'person of interest.' What loving mother wouldn't provide their son with an alibi if he asked her?
6/8/2021: Maggie Murdaugh's cell phone is located on the side of a nearby county road using the 'Find my phone' feature by an unnamed Murdaugh family member. Paul's cell phone is reportedly found at the murder scene the night of the murders.
6/8/2021: Police confirm that the two Murdaughs died in a 'double homicide' but also claim the crimes were not 'random' and there is 'no on-going threat to the public.' They never name any suspects or a motive. The case immediately goes cold with no one being questioned and no warrants or subpoenas issued after the initial crime scene investigation. Not surprisingly, rumors surface that Mallory Beach's family is involved in the 'revenge' killing, charges which they strongly deny, even voluntarily providing DNA samples to authorities. FITSNews reports that an anonymous source claims 'one of the weapons used in the double homicide belonged to the Murdaugh family.'
6/10/2021:Randolph Murdaugh III dies from cancer. He was the father of Alex Murdaugh and grandfather to Paul and Buster. Alex Murdaugh's ironclad alibi to Maggie and Paul's murders involves visiting Randolph and his mother (Randolph's wife) the night of the murders.
6/10/2021: Initial date of a hearing in the Beach's wrongful death lawsuit where a judge was set to rule on a motion to have Alex and Buster Murdaugh disclose their financial assets, among other motions. Maggie and Paul Murdaugh may have also been added to the lawsuit as defendants at that time. The hearing was postponed due to the double murders three days earlier, and has not been rescheduled, because, well, everything else that Alex Murdaugh did to himself since then.
6/22/2021: Based on 'information gathered' in the Murdaugh double homicide investigation, SLED (South Carolina's State Law Enforcement Division) reopens the death investigation into Stephen Smith. SLED offers no further information. The original 2015 investigation, which was closed without resolution, was handled by the South Carolina Highway Patrol and was heavily criticized as inadequate.
9/4/2021: Alex Murdaugh is shot in the head at night while changing a tire on his (deceased) wife's Mercedes on a deserted South Carolina rural road. The initial police report states that Alex showed no signs of injury. This is later attributed to an officer 'checking the wrong box' on a form. SLED later states Alex suffered a 'superficial' gunshot wound to the head. Jim Griffin, a lawyer representing Alex Murdaugh disputes this and instead claims that Alex suffered a 'severe injury' to his head, bullet 'entry and exit wounds' and a fractured skull with brain bleeding. SLED later corrects their statement to reflect that Alex suffered a 'major injury.' Alex states that a blue pickup truck unknown to him passed by his disabled car, turned around and the driver asked if he needed help. The driver then shot Alex in the head.
9/6/2021: Alex Murdaugh is discharged from the hospital with no long term 'debilitating' injuries TWO DAYS after being shot in the head. This is a miraculous recovery, considering his lawyer claimed Alex suffered a fractured skull and brain bleeding. Other statements by his lawyer Jim Griffin alternately claim Alex drove himself to the hospital, or was driven to the hospital by a passing Good Samaritan. In fact, Alex was airlifted in a helicopter. Alex Murdaugh's lawyer also misstates the hospital to which Alex was transported. It seems even Alex Murdaugh's lawyer can't get his story straight.
9/6/2021: Alex Murdaugh announces he is resigning from his family's lawfirm to enter rehab for a non-specific addiction problem.
9/6/2021: The Murdaugh family lawfirm, PMPED, releases a statement claiming Alex was fired for embezzling money. 'There are millions missing,' an anonymous source close to the firm has stated. Some say up to $10 million was allegedly missing.
9/8/2021: Alex Murdaugh's law license is suspended by the South Carolina Supreme Court which cites his alleged embezzlement in their reasoning.
9/13/2021: SLED announced they are investigating Alex Murdaugh for embezzling money from his family's lawfirm. PMPED states they requested the investigation and contacted the SC state bar association.
9/14/2021: Curtis Edward Smith (former client of and drug dealer to Alex Murdaugh) is arrested and charged with conspiracy to commit insurance fraud, attempted assisted suicide, distribution of methamphetamine and possession of marijuana, among other charges. Alex Murdaugh confesses to police that he hired Smith to shoot and kill him so Buster Murdaugh could collect on a $10 million life insurance policy. Alex Murdaugh claims he was genuinely suicidal at the time (he now claims he no longer is) and believed a clause in his life insurance policy would not payout the $10 million to his last remaining heir in the event of a suicide. Buster ostensibly needs this money for his legal defense team in the possible up-coming murder charges over Stephen Smith's death.
9/15/2021: SLED announces they have opened an investigation into the mysterious 2018 death of Gloria Satterfield, the former Murdaugh housekeepenanny. Angela Topper, the coroner in Hampton County, SC, asked for the investigation because Satterfield's death was never reported to her office and no autopsy was conducted. She claims this is not standard procedure for an accidental death - such as a fall down stairs - of an otherwise healthy individual. It is not immediately clear why the county coroner waited THREE YEARS to request a death investigation.
TO DATE, Alex Murdaugh has NOT BEEN ARRESTED OR CHARGED WITH ANY CRIME, even though he is listed as a CO-CONSPIRATOR to Curtis Smith's alleged insurance fraud in charging documents. His lawyers fully expect he will be charged for the insurance fraud, but maintain he has NOTHING TO DO with his son and wife's murders. Alex Murdaugh's lawyers claim he will 'surrender himself' to law enforcement sometime today, which is INCREDIBLY odd, considering he has NOT BEEN CHARGED with ANY crime.
UPDATE: 9/15/2021: Alex Murdaugh is charged with one count of conspiracy to commit insurance fraud, one count of insurance fraud and one count of filing a false police report. He plans to turn himself in on 9/16/2021.
Summary:
Alex Murdaugh and his remaining family (Buster) are the subjects of SIX current SLED investigations: 1) insurance fraud/filing a false police report in Alex's self-caused shooting, 2) embezzlement of millions of dollars from the family lawfirm PMPED, 3) obstruction of justice in the drunken boating death of Mallory Beach, 4) murdeobstruction of justice in the death investigation of Stephen Smith, 5) murdeobstruction of justice in the death investigation of housekeepenanny Gloria Satterfield, 6) double homicide investigation of Maggie and Paul Murdaugh.
It seems - this time - that local law enforcement is tired of covering up for Alex Murdaugh and his evil brood's many alleged illegal actions, and are looking to finally serve justice for all (or most) of their victims.
My predictions:
Buster Murdaugh will be investigated and charged with Stephen Smith's death, perhaps with other conspirators. His extended family will abandon him, leaving his defense to a public defender. (Alex Murdaugh is destitute from years of drug abuse and has lost his law license, so he cannot help defend his eldest son). Buster may not be convicted because it's South Carolina and Stephen Smith was gay (sorry, that's just how 'Southern justice' works, even in 2021). Alex Murdaugh will be charged with insurance fraud and filing a false police report for his self-caused shooting. He will further be charged with obstruction of justice in the death investigations of Mallory Beach, Stephen Smith and Gloria Satterfield. Paul Murdaugh will be posthumously implicated for killing Gloria Satterfield. Further charges will be added for Alex Murdaugh for embezzlement and drug possession.
I also believe Alex Murdaugh killed his son Paul in an alcohol and drug-induced rage because he was infuriated at Paul for being completely irresponsible in the death of Mallory Beach. Alex Murdaugh realized that Paul's continued public controversies (previous DUIs/arrests, killing their housekeeper, killing Mallory Beach) put the Murdaugh family in jeopardy of having further crimes exposed (Buster's killing of Stephen Smith, Alex Murdaugh's embezzlement and drug abuse). Once Maggie Murdaugh discovered that Alex had murdered their son, she threatened to expose everything she knew to the police, forcing Alex to kill her with a semi-automatic assault rifle. This likely happened because either 1) Alex used both barrels of a double-barreled shotgun to kill Paul and had no more shotgun shells on hand, 2) Alex realized that killing Paul and Maggie with different weapons would help imply that two murderers were involved or 3) Maggie discovered Alex had murdered Paul a short time after the first shooting, and the nearest weapon to Alex and Maggie during the resulting argument was an assault rifle. Regardless of the timing of the murders, Alex is likely responsible... Why else would the police announce that the community was 'not in danger' after an unsolved double-murder in the area with no arrests, no suspects and no motive? Roughly an hour passed between when the coroner estimates Paul and Maggie were killed and Alex called 911. This was plenty of time for Alex to dispose of the two weapons.
Overall, I hope that this particular line of the Murdaugh family ends with Buster. Alex has brothers who don't seem to have such fucked up lives nor a complete lack of self control. Hopefully, if Buster is convicted of Stephen Smith's murder (or if he himself is gay), these murderous evil genes will not pass to another generation of sick, selfish, power-hungry, 'above the law' monsters.
9/16/2021: EDITED to reflect that FITSNews has an anonymous source claiming one of the weapons used in the Murdaugh double homicide 'belonged to the Murdaugh family.'
EDITED to list Randolph Murdaugh's death from cancer, and the sale of the Murdaugh family home in Hampton, SC.
EDITED to reference the Beach family's wrongful death lawsuit against the Murdaughs, and the date of a ruling on requested financial disclosures by the Murdaughs in that lawsuit.
EDITED to show Maggie Murdaugh's cell phone was found outside the Moselle murder scene a day after the murders and list Alex Murdaugh's law license being suspended.

Almost *every single* police station or sheriffs department is corrupt.
There's an entire group of people who have been wronged by the police and tried to step up and fight against them. This is a story suggestion. I'm new to this platform and only created this account, with an attempt to get it 'out there.' I've reached out to other 'big' influencers as well.
I, myself, have been a victim of 'wrongdoing' by the court, the sheriff's office & even DCS court's Guardian Ad Litem, back in 2020, over a child custody case over my oldest son.(Camden)
You can interpret this story and tell it in order however you feel fit. It IS a bit all over the place, the exact timing is off and It's not letting me upload some videos and photos that I have, due to my computer not being currently linked to my icloud account on my PC. If you decide to use this, you can email me at [mindyourbeauty@yahoo.com](mailto:mindyourbeauty@yahoo.com) and I'll gladly send the rest of the evidence and voice recordings from my phone.. I have all of the court documents and DCS's findings like mentioned in the story to come... It's a little messy but here's the story.
I filed a petition to get sole custody of my son, who already has my last name and I'm the only one on the birth certificate... yet I was still made to pay 180 to file a petition, proving and explanation as to why I should have sole custody. I had tried in the past as well, to no avail. The *same* judge would always rule for 'mediation,' between my ex & I. Even after attempting to show proof of my ex, we'll call him 'Jerk,' doing illegal things. He was a 'nark' and for that very reason, I later found out, that's why they'd 'held out for so long.' I'd been obtaining photos and videos and keeping a log of every single time I went to Jerk's mom's house to pick up my son, often times feeling obligated to even take my ex's kids with me because 'jerk' would give me ultimatums, often saying, 'well you can take Camden, if you take Kali's kids too. So, I often would. After going over the same routine for a while, getting my son of the day and (Cody) 'jerk' coming and getting him of the night. I started recording every encounter. I had my video on, everytime I entered the house. I recorded the filth and the progressively odd behaviors and actions of Cody... For example, he'd cut out a hole in the floor and installed a 'trap door,' then covered it with a carpet which was very dangerous for my son to be walking over in general. (I'd later found out he was leaving him *alone* in the middle of the night, so he could go do meth with his girlfriend!) I'd tried numerous times to just keep him at my home and from the previous 'ruling,' there was nothing that I could do. He would come up here and literally just steal my son. I would get up the very next day and go get him back and would keep him all day long and Jerk would show up around 10pm and just take him, after promising something, every single time, a 'super cool, really neat surprise!' So then, my son would cry to go and it was just a complete mess. I kept trying to go back and show them proof, the photos, the videos, everything and every single time, the ladies at the desk would say: 'we don't take evidence!' which is a lie. They sure did accept something from Jerk, because after I'd filed my 3rd petition, out of fear and just wanting my son to NOT go back after the latest video I'd received of Jerk sitting at a gas station, leaned over snorting something that he'd just ripped open from the corner of a baggie, and sprinkled on his phone and literally just snorted it up and without wiping it off, cleaning it, nothing- just clicked something on the phone and handed it back to my son, in the back seat, to watch a video I'm assuming. I later found out that he'd been purchasing meth. I confronted him about it and he swore on our son's life that he doesn't 'nor would he ever do that nasty shit.' I showed him the video and he tried to tell me that he had found what he thought to have been crystals or diamonds and was just inspecting them through the light on his phone and just 'blew them off, after noticing it wasn't anything.' I wasn't buying it and I made yet another petition, without a lawyer and before I knew it, the police were at my house, taking my son and telling me and my fiancé to 'sit down and shut the fuck up and nobody will go to jail!' I was freaking out, my son was freaking out and crying, not wanting to go. I immediately went to the courthouse because the police didn't serve me anything at all, they just kept saying, 'the judge sent us and we don't have to show you anything!' I had no idea as to why my son was being taken from me! I went and got the documents from the ladies at the front desk as soon as the police left, allowing my son to go with Jerk. Even though I'd recently had a no trespassing order put in place for him and they literally allowed him to park in my driveway! He stood outside of his mom's car and just smiled at us, while the police motioned for my son to 'come here.' So, after obtaining my copy, I look down at this counter petition, that the judge had actually signed off on. These insane, unreal, accusations claiming 'I didn't have lights, I didn't have water, I didn't have food, I was on meth, I was threatening to kill my son, I owned a gun and knives and was going to slit my son's throat, I was allowing him to get molested by my 8 year old 'soon to be stepson,' I was allowing my fiancé to drown him in the bathtub.' just INSANE, UNREALISTIC LIES!!! I was enraged! I was so mad that the police just didn't even attempt to just come look inside my house, which I'd had GLADLY let them, just to prove all or at least most of those lies wrong! I immediately call the courthouse and see what my options were and not even a day later, I'm at an attorneys office and I hand over 3,500 and am telling him this story. He looks at the county and his face kind of droops. Mind you, I went to another county to find an attorney. He tells me that he will give me a call for all of the 'my case' info the next day. The next day I get a call, alright. It's him telling me to come back and get my money, he was giving me a full refund and that he'd made his mind up, he truly felt for me, but realized he didn't want to take the case because of my counties' child court system was SO corrupt and that he didn't want any part of it and he felt he bit off a little more than he could chew. So, I drive all the way back and he gives me a check, in full, for all the money I'd given him. I immediately go to the next '5 star' lawyer on Google's list, 'in my area.' Kevin Angel. I go into his office, with my fiancé and he tells me, over the phone, might I add... 'well, I'd love to take your case, and you have a pretty strong one too, you've already done most of the work and not to be rude but I love cases like this, that are already pretty much done for me and they're this easy! So, I'll tell you what, give me 5,500 and we'll go ahead and get started!' Without hesitation, even though I didn't have the money, I handed the lady at the desk, the 3,500 and set up a payment plan. A week later I gave another 1k. I am emailing him everyday and sending over ALL of my documents and videos and even taking my own folders of files, over to his office. Files I put together myself and It was always his assistant that would take them. He was never there, and if he was, he'd go straight to his office and not want to ever speak to me. I didn't even know it was him that was running to his office, at first, because I didn't even meet him until 3 months later! We finally had a sit down, after I'd literally called and went off on everyone, demanding for someone to do something, anything at all and I wanted to meet my attorney right then and there and it had better be within that week, or I wasn't sending in anymore payments. At this point, nothing was filed, petitioned, or sent into the court on my behalf. He was doing literally nothing. He didn't seem to understand the severity of this case and that my son was in danger. I continue to get all of these videos and I'm literally breaking down. My hair is falling out, I lost 15lbs within one month, and I had to go to the doctor; who referred me to the hospital after showing signs of a mild heart attack at the age of 29. I called and got DCS involved and they finally open a case on Jerk. He makes it a point to avoid them like the plague and even gets his sick, enabler of a mother to answer the door and tell them 'he isn't here.' Knowing good and well that he was there and so was my son. They were forcing him to jump down that 'trap door' in the floor and hide, until they left. Finally, DCS comes back with the police and requests a search. He denies the search but ended up allowing the case worker to search his room, after the police left. They found a whizzinator, a jar of someone else's pee with 'hot hands warming pouches' around it, and paraphernalia. They still allowed my son to stay! Three months later, I still haven't heard my sons voice, I haven't seen his face, nothing! I'm withering away to nothing, yet I'm still fighting and clawing my way out of the shit hole, they system allowed me to get in. I get a call from Jerk's case worker, who was supposedly keeping an eye on my son, to make sure he's safe and doing regular home visits. The call is about how MY attorney had just got institutionalized after trying to kill himself and his family and that he's 'suspended.' He was a danger to himself and others and will not be my attorney anymore. I call the law office that he worked at, had an actual office at and was online and had this number linking to this very office, just to be told 'he's not affiliated with us and you won't be getting any of your money back, because he doesn't have it!' I was literally on my last limb, I was about to lose it. I had people creeping around my house, in the middle of the night and I had a jeep Patriot, at the time. I walk out super early one morning, around 5 o'clock to throw the trash out on the porch and I notice someone is underneath my jeep! I yell out 'hey! What the f**k are you doing?!' The person jumps up, it's still kind of dark outside, mind you, it's around 5am and it's very foggy outside. This person is dressed out in ALL black and immediately starts sprinting through my woods and just disappeared into the fog. I really didn't think anything of it, which in hindsight, I should've! I went to go run some errands that day, planning on stopping by the attorneys office and as soon as I start my jeep and put it in reverse to back out of my driveway, my keep doesn't stop! My breaks had literally been cut into, including my emergency break! I always left my jeep doors unlocked because I'm the queen of locking my keys inside of it. Hell, I even left my keys hanging off the rear view mirror. Nobody EVER came and messed with my stuff. I live in the city, but it's still relatively remote. But either way, since my fiancé was 'kicked out,' I had no other vehicles to do my everyday transport. It got so bad that I had to put up surveillance because thankfully, I'm a very light sleeper, so I was getting woke up almost every other night, hearing leaves crunching outside. I live right next to the woods in East Tennessee. I was getting more and more terrified for my son's life and my own. I had people telling me that Jerk was literally offering to pay them to come and 'mess with me, because I was all alone.' I was out of options and the police wasn't taking me seriously at all. I'd tried to make numerous police reports and when they'd get here, EVERY SINGLE TIME I was told 'ehh, it isn't worth making a report and doing all the paperwork, because you cannot prove anything and since I was having problems with my stupid camera, I wasn't getting anything on actual video, to prove anything was even happening. I had only one camera and it was mounted on my front porch, right underneath the overhang of my roof and I'd only gotten one clip where Jerk drove by my house around 3am and just stopped and sat at the top of my driveway, in his mom's SUV. He didn't get out, he just sat and watched until my camera had cut out after not detecting anymore movement. It's untelling how long he'd actually sat there. I attempted to make 4 police reports, one of which before this had all started and Jerks mom had attacked me while I was holding my son, trying to leave and take him with me, from their house and she scratched me with her long, nasty nails and had brought blood from my chest. Yet, none of them were taken seriously. Not even the one where I attempted to report my brakes being CUT into! My son's guardian Ad Litem, Amanda, was doing nothing but focusing on making sure my fiancé wasn't around and completely kicked out of our own house and making sure that my other son was going through hell, as well. I have another son, by my, now, fiancé. He is now 4, was 3 at the time (Xander). He would always cry and ask for 'brother and daddy,' but there was nothing I could do and NOW this bitch, Amanda, had made her own petition for my fiancé to have 'no contact' with my son that was already taken from me. So, I was stuck between and rock and a hard place. EVEN IF I ended up getting my son back, our provider wasn't allowed to be here. The father of my second, younger, son(Xander). It was an entire year of hell for us. My fiancé was having to sleep on his boss's couch and rent hotels, while STILL paying my bills, here at home. He would come get our son, on his very few off days, to take Xander and go do things with him and see him. Amanda was only focused on making my life harder and she'd personally speak to Jerk, but when I tried to speak to her, she'd say 'I can't speak to you, without your lawyer.' She _knew_ my situation and knew that I didn't have an attorney! As Time goes by, I've literally written & called the Law Board, the news, made posts to social media, I've called my state capitol- Nashville, I've called, written and reached out to anyone and everyone that I knew to reach out to. NONE of it worked. Nobody would ever get back to me! I'd never felt so hopeless and helpless in my entire life. Finally, Jerk slips up by ignoring DCS for almost 10 months and THEN they finally decide to petition for 'mother to have custody back!' I get a call from the only *good & honest* case worker that TN has, Chris. He tells me to go to the courthouse right now, that finally, the judge was going to sign the petition, even though it had taken 8 days for him to even pick it up and look at it! At this point, I am so excited, I'm literally shaking, I throw on the clothes nearest to me and call my fiancé (*knowing* my son wouldn't be around for him to violate the order*) I had set up a ride to get my son and to be brought back home. They were also on their way and knew to just park, sit and wait on the call for me to make, for them to come around to pick me up from the courthouse and to possibly take me to pick Camden up. I wasn't sure how it was gonna go yet, I just knew I needed someone else to pick my son up, due to the stupid order in place. So my fiancé immediately leaves work, soon as I call him and floors it to my house. I jump in, he drives me to the courthouse and I get out, run in and tell the *same* ladies, that earlier told me 'they don't take proof.' that I was there to get my son back.. They tell me to go sit in the waiting room, that the judge was busy but about to sign my papers and they had to get my copies. Instead of going into the waiting room, I decide to go outside, because, well, COVID has just became a thing and I wasn't really trying to catch it. I go outside and sit on the bench at the courthouse, which is also the Sheriff's department. They were just on a different floor. It's a rather tall building but I distinctively remember seeing a rather large, black bubble tinted camera in the upper corner of the first tier of the building. I lit a cigarette and pull my phone out. I'm crying and shaking because I'm SO excited. I call and text everyone, in my intermediate family, letting them know that I'm about to get my son back! I didn't even get in 3 puffs, before this sheriffs deputy skurts to a stop on the wrong side of the road, closest to the courthouse, jumps out and comes straight up to me and says 'ma'am, I need you to come over here with me, I need to speak with you.' I immediately assume, okay cool, he's gonna take me and serve as my escort! I couldn't have been any more wrong. He proceeds to tell me, 'I just got a call that you were out here being drunken and belligerent!' I couldn't help but to laugh and I tell him, 'ehh, I think you have the wrong person, I've only been out here for like 3 minutes, if that!' He says: 'NO! I got a call and it matches your description to a T, I was told you are out here causing trouble and that you are fucked up!' I immediately break into tears and try my best to convince him that I wasn't drunk NOR messed up in any way. I told him a little about my situation and what I'd been through and how long it had taken to finally get to this place that I was at, literally about to get my son back! He replies with; 'I don't care about your situation, I'm here doing my job, after getting a call that you are out here acting like a stupid fool!' My jaw drops and at this point, I'm getting angry. I raise my voice and say, 'give me a drug test then! Give me a breathalyzer!' He looks me dead in the face, as he covers his body cam and his name tag, then leans down closer to me and says, 'I don't have anything for you to suck or blow on.' Then gives me this disgusting smirk. I automatically LOST it! He made me do 2 different field sobriety tests and 'fails' me, of course. I obviously didn't have a chance and it was all a set up, as soon as the GAL and police and possibly even Jerk, had gotten word that the judge was supposedly gonna sign my son back over to me. I called my attorneys office and all they tell me is that they're gonna get me a 'pro bono lawyer' and I explained what had just happened to me and they reply 'well, at least you didn't go to jail!' This was the straw that broke the camels back for me. Especially after seeing, literally, everyone that was inside the courthouse, standing outside the courthouse watching me do my whole TWO field sobriety tests! They clearly seen, for themselves that I had did great and was even in heels! There was even witnesses standing outside watching as well, that spoke up and said 'man you know she passed that, she did better than I would have!!' They were told to mind their business and shut up. SO, now at this point- Jerk had lost all rights and now, I did too. My son was about to go into states custody. Thank God my fiancé called my mom at work and told her what was going on, he had witnessed all of this, while sitting on the bench the entire time. My mom dropped what she was doing and immediately came to where I was. I was told to go right then and there inside to take a drug test and then go to DCS office and take a saliva test. The case workers that were there kept saying, 'She doesn't look, smell, nor act intoxicated off of alcohol! I have no idea what is going on, I've never seen anything like this in my entire life! That boy needs his mom!' That same lady took me inside and I'd peed in a cup and passed it. It took two weeks for the saliva test results to come back and my nail bed test as well. I passed EVERYTHING. NOTHING was in my system. My mom and step dad got temporary custody and enrolled my son into kindergarten. I didn't get to experience taking my son, alone, to his first day of school. I woke up and drove to my mom's house and rode with her to drop him off. Months go by and Jerk and his girlfriend are in and out of jail. I NEVER got my preliminary hearing, that by law, was supposed to be within 3-7 days. I never got to speak my side of the story and only was allowed 2 court dates. Both of which, Jerk came without a lawyer and it was rescheduled. This was months and months later, might I add. My son had to experience absolute hell and the 'authorities and the system,' didn't give a shit about him, especially not me! My mom said when he first got to her house, at night time, he would wake up screaming and having full blown panic attacks and screaming while puking, trying to say 'PLEASE, don't leave me alone again, please, Is anybody here?!?!' My heart breaks for him. Finally, in December, my son was taken from me in February at the beginning of the year; I FINALLY GOT HIM BACK. They had ran out of excuses and I had been going to DCS and volunteering my pee every week, the entire time. I had passed everything they tried to test me for and I literally broke down, the day that they said that I was getting ALL of my rights back and that the father had none. When I seen my son, he looked and sounded SO different. All I could do was cry and just squeeze him. I had gotten to visit while he was with my mom, as much as I could. The state had their own rules about me visiting him. I was only allowed to visit until a certain time and I'd even broke the rules just to go with him on his first day of school. I didn't care at that point. It's now all a thing of the past, but now just not even 3 weeks ago... I get a paper in the mail. Remember the 'pro bono lawyer?' Yeah, she's now 'withdrawing' herself from the case because She wanted another thousand dollars out of me. Kevin Angel is now practicing once again, now in another county and just got in trouble again, not even a month ago. This is a prime example of how our justice system, courts, and authorities are cruel inhumane, individuals who don't even deserve the air that they breathe. My son & I are now in therapy and I am currently look more extensively into other treatments, due to all the things he had to see and endure. He has experienced SO much trauma that it's caused him to have OCD. It's a very hard journey at this point, cleaning up the mess that was made and could have been avoided... I have photos and videos if anyone even made it this far into this 'novel!' lol. Another side story...
Jerk had taken credit cards out in his stepdads name and had a PayPal account with almost 33,000 dollars. He was buying people gas and ordering new things like 'Jordan's and Nike' shoes, online, to trade for meth and pills. His stepdad was made aware of this by his brother, who he ended up fighting with Jerk, that same night that, which was the before he was summoned to come to court. Jerk came that day, he had his stepdad's wallet and 4,000 dollars on him and made sure to flaunt it to me and even went as far as to ask me if I needed any money! Later that day he told me to meet me at a church right down the road from me and he promised I could see my son. I get there, he searches me like a cop would and allows me to sit in the vehicle.. My son was not there. He proceeds to cry and tell me that he still loves me and that needed to get something off his chest. He showed me this distorted night vision video of his stepdad (Therrell) who was supposed to testify against him, his own stepson in court, that very day. We had just gotten out of court and met about an hour and a half later...I look at this video closer and watch as he touches the dot- and scrolls over to the right, to fast forward at least 2-3 hours. I am shocked as I realized that It's Therrell! It shows paramedics showing up hours later and carrying his lifeless body, barely clinging to life, and being carried out on a stretcher. 2 days go by and Jerk and his mom are VERY quick to 'pull the plug,' while he's in ICU. Even after the hospital said that, with his insurance, they could keep him up to 3 weeks, hooked up to all the necessary equipment. He ended up dying as soon as they unplugged him exactly 2 days later. His mom went on a shopping spree and got he hair done and they got his insurance money fairly quickly. The truck that he left my son, has since been spray painted and took apart, due to him tweaking out on dope. Today, Jerk is still being investigated over that as well, along with homeland security, for some reason. His own family told me this. He's gotten himself into a lot of trouble and I know he had a hand in his stepdad's death. I tried to call and tell the investigator over his case, everything I'd seen and he tells me: ' I feel like you are just mad and have bad blood, due to all the things that he put you through. Therefore, I cannot take anything you are saying into consideration.' The negligence just blows my mind. The stupidity and the 'turning a blind eye' to everything around here, is just unbelievable! I have a voice recording of him clearly saying out of his own mouth, after my asking 'did you have anything to do with that poor man's death, because you and I both know he sided with me and he was going to testify against you?!' All he does is get quiet for a few seconds and start to sob. So, I yell the question again and he shouts 'I don't know, okay!' But ever since I got custody back, he hasn't even tried to so much as call our son. He has two other kids, that he and his girlfriend has since lost custody of and still doesn't have them, to this day. They both continue to fist fight each other, do drugs, steal and talk out of their heads and are in and out of jail. Again, I have photo, audio, and video proof of all of this.
-CONGRATS IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR! 😁

(I’m on mobile, sorry for mistakes) Alright so I’m 16f with divorced parents (as you can tell through the title), so a little bit of a backstory before I get into this:
My dad is a difficult person to deal with to say the least, me and him had a theropy session before which we had to reschedule because he didn’t show up the first time. During that session I talked to him about why I don’t want to have a relationship and why I believe we’re not close. (I’ll try to find the list) towards the end of it he said that the reason I gave weren’t valid and went into his childhood and basically flipping it on me. This happened I believe in may of this year, not going to June me, my mom, and my grandparents are planning to move down to South Carolina where we’re living now. This is where the story actually starts.
So about a week before we leave my mom gets served with papers say that I’m not allowed to leave the state of New York. The court date comes around a week later, the judge says were allowed to leave, we do. At the moment my mother is going after him for child support, while my dad is going after visitation. I have been told by my law Guardian (person who speaks for my in court) that I need to speak with my father to try to get him to drop the visitation. Reason for this is because I’m 16, the judge that is over seeing this doesn’t really understands why he’s doing this, nor does my mothers attorney.
My question is how do I bring this up to him and what do I say, he’s stubborn and I understand I need to do deal with this myself since this is between me and my father. I will give more info if asked but at the moment I don’t really have time to type this out a lot. But I will reason to everyone if possible

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